years of prayers

It was doubt whispering in my ear that I shouldn’t expect to receive such an opportunity. Doubt, reminding me that rejection is the norm and should, therefore, be my constant expectation.

Yet I had prayed for this. Not for a short while but for years.

Years.

I hadn’t a clue how God would actually provide, but a flame of hope flickered deep in my heart. Unwilling to let squelch it, I asked for persistence, endurance, and most of all that God would keep it burning if it was His will.

And those prayers of surrender are hardest, aren’t they? Because what if it wasn’t His will? What if it was just mine?

The answer came about through a mishap, or so it seemed.

A missed flight. A cancelled meeting. All leading me to the very place I hadn’t considered looking.

Turns out, God wasn’t just placing the desire of mentorship on my heart. He was placing the willingness to fill it on hers.

Now the two just needed to align.

And so in September, full of doubt, I applied for the internship. And in October, still lacking confidence, I interviewed.

And then I prayed.

I prayed and prayed, and every time I began to doubt or worry, I prayed some more. I scribbled it in almost every prayer journal entry until I realized one thing was missing. I’d let God know, many times over, that I desired the opportunity. That it sounded like the very thing I’d been seeking for years. That I was willing and ready… more than ready.

But I’d been too afraid to actually ask.

So I finally did. “Lord, if this is the right opportunity, if this is the next step, if this is truly your will, would you please open this door for me?”

Mid-November, I received the email that I’d been selected, and the first meeting was this week.

Listen, I have done nothing to deserve the opportunity to be mentored by another who has well-walked the path I’m desiring to adventure. And, quite frankly, I’m overwhelmed that I have received such a lofty opportunity because I come to the table with very little to give.

But am I surprised? Yes and no.

Because here is what I’m learning about God: every answer He gives is a step in the right direction. And if we are willing to seek and then submit to His counsel and guidance, He will lead us forward. Will it be easy? Seamless? A straight road paved without any bumps or detours?

I think you already know the answers to those questions.

But if you’re willing to walk with God, He will faithfully lead you through the mountains and valleys, around rocky corners, and down the correct fork in the road. And He will litter your path with people to hold your hand along the way.

Who knows, He might even be using you right now to be that person for someone else.

But no one arrives on their own.

By the grace of God, and the willingness of His people, we can do far more for his kingdom by laboring together. Cheering one another on. Walking the path side by side. And diligently following the lead of our Good Shepherd.