better, not bitter

I was hurt.

Hurt, humiliated, angry, and confused.

In fact, there wasn’t a single negative emotion I wasn’t feeling. It was as if all of them had surged together and threatened to overtake me like a tsunami.

I longed to have someone, anyone, who had well walked the road of rejection and heartbreak and was willing to shed a light on my dark path.

And while I knew of others who had endured a divorce, not many were willing to talk about it much less throw out a thread of hope.

“Lord, use this circumstance to make me better, not bitter.”

It was my honest prayer because I didn’t want to come out on the other side of it all in worse condition than when it started.

I also refused to bury my reality and pretend life was fine. Because in the midst of my world crumbling, I realized that I, too, had some work to do. That while I had no control over my situation, I did have control over myself. My actions. Most of all, my willingness to allow God to work as needed.

And as much as it pained me to admit it, there was work to be done.

Bit by bit, God began to chisel away. To answer that prayer. To refine and shape me, in spite of the discomfort, just as I had requested.

No matter the hardship, we always have two options: emerge bitter or better.

And, let’s be honest, the former comes naturally. Much easier, too, as it is the result we will achieve if we don’t commit the process to God.

Because the flesh is prone to sin. So easily bent towards keeping a record of wrongs, harboring resentment, and brewing in anger and frustration over the unwelcomed challenges and disappointments we cannot escape.

Layoffs. Losses. Divorce. Illness. Destruction. Separation. Rejection.

Listen, these things happen. God’s people are not immune. But God’s people have the one thing the world lacks: hope. And it is that very hope, burning deep within our hearts, that reminds us that nothing is wasted in the hands of God.

That trials and tribulations can threaten, but they have no sway over the plans and purposes of God.

Commit your steps to the Lord, my friend. Your broken path. Your shattered heart. Your greatest disappointment. And rather than asking why, consider what it might be that God desires to teach you through it all. It’ll be quite the journey, no doubt – but if you’ll allow Him to lead the way, you will emerge on the other side better than when you started.