Please Who?
I flipped through the stack of newspaper clippings my grandmother had stashed away in an old envelope. Decades of my life, featured in photos and print. Cut out with care from the small-town newspaper, each one boasting of some sort of accomplishment I’d tucked under my adolescent belt.
Making my way to the last article, I could hardly believe almost 17 years stood between me and the girl in the photo. The one with the big hair, flat stomach, and skirt that was dangerously low.
“I still can’t believe you were a cheerleader.” My husband smirked as he scanned through the article looking for my name.
Had he known me then, back in the day when my energy levels were as high as my toe-touches, he wouldn’t have been near as surprised.
I read over the little paragraph. The incredibly long run-on sentence outlining all of my previous academic accomplishments, who I was, and claimed to become. Were it not in print, I wouldn’t have remembered half of the list. Back then, it was a big deal. But then again, not enough to have been so easily forgotten.
“I wonder what people think of me now.” I confessed to my husband. “I wonder if they think I’m not intelligent or capable. The path I’ve chosen only has one big requirement. Have a baby. No special training or formal education. And I spend my days doing what every other parent squeezes in when they’re not on the clock.”
Even though it’s been over five years since I typed up my letter of resignation so I could be a full time stay at home mom, and I still find myself struggling with the same questions.
How will I leave my mark on this world? Model success for my children? Be a leader? Make a difference?
But the problem, however, stems from an unfortunately flawed way of thinking. Of attempting to answer those questions by trying to impress others. Piling up achievements and accolades, awards and recognition. Titles and records.
Seeking to be the object of admiration and pride, and sadly, seeking approval from all the wrong places.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10
Why are you doing what you do? And not just in the sense of work, mind you, but in every area of life.
To gain attention? Admiration? Affection?
To impress the masses who don’t know you?
To prove your worth to others who have no vested interest in you?
Or to prove your value to a world that will never truly accept you?
God knows, my friend. Of each gift, talent, and capability, He is fully aware. He’s the one who gave them to you. Not to pour out in the vain pursuit of gaining others’ affirmations, but for a greater purpose.
To be a servant of Christ. One whose entire life pleases God.
