Rejection and perseverance

My heart rate sped up as the email title caught my eye. I had been anxiously awaiting to receive this email all week but somehow overlooked it amidst the incredible amount of junk mail crowding my inbox.

I opened the email and skimmed past the first few paragraphs until I saw a list of names. I quickly read through each name looking for my own, which was not included in the list.

Another rejection.

“Go figure,” I whispered to myself as I let out a heavy sigh. Disappointment filled my heart, although not to the same degree as it did with the previous rejection email.

Persevere.

The word immediately came to my mind. A divine encouragement from God.

“Perseverance produces character, and character hope, and hope does not disappoint...” (Romans 5:3-4)

The verse filled occupied my thoughts until my heart rate steadied. I knew God was speaking exactly what I needed to hear. It just wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

Because each time I receive rejection, I don’t want to persevere. I want to give up. I want to throw in the towel and walk away, retreating back to my little homemade safe space. I don’t want to keep putting myself out there, feeling as if I’m failing in so many ways.

But what I want to do and what God is calling me to do are two completely different things.   

One response leads me to walk in the flesh, and other in faith.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses… let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith... (Hebrews 12:1-2)  Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.” (James 1:3-4)

So I will choose to keep running the race marked out for me.

To keep my eyes on the author and perfector of my faith.

And to persevere in hope.