Seasonal Friends

I thought we’d be friends forever.

At least, that’s how I’d envisioned friendship working. That once someone fell into that category, they didn’t just slip out. The label remained, despite any distance or time that filled the space between.

But through a conversation at a coffee shop in college, a mentor made a comment that God had given her many great “seasonal friends.”

How odd. I’d never heard of such a thing. So they were once a friend but now a…? A what? Did they revert to an acquaintance? A stranger?

How did one decide when that relationship was over? When the label was removed? I’d lost friends, just as we all have at some point. But it had been due to a conflict. There’d been falling outs that had occurred. Personality differences that drove a wedge. Living in close quarters that had become a problem.

Yet I had this whole group of people whom I genuinely liked, friends for whom I genuinely cared, and I had assumed the feelings would always be mutual. The relationship between us would somehow remain.

And then I graduated.

For so many of the friends I made in college, I haven’t seen the overwhelming majority since the day I left campus. Life stages brought about significant changes that thrusted us in various directions away from one another.

And I fear, in today’s society, many of us are struggling with the idea that we must have an abundance of friends or a tight-knit circle, and we must do things together all the time, in order for it to truly count. And for some, that might be the case. But I think many of you are in the same boat as me.

God has planted friends on your path right when you needed them, but time and space has changed the relationship.

It’s tempting to look back and wonder if something went amiss. To view the change as a personal rejection. Should you have called more, called less? Made larger strides to connect despite the distance in-between or the demands of the life stage? Did you do something wrong? Did they grow tired of you? Did they actually consider you a friend?

God has given me a small number of close, dear friends. Friends that have been granted a special place in my heart. But, just as my mentor experienced, God has given me a great number of seasonal friends.

Friends I needed at a very specific moment in time. Some of those friendships simply evolved with life, and there were a few that, unfortunately, came to an undesirable end. Yet I am thankful for those people and for the time we had. For the weeks, the months, the years. Because God placed them on my path for a specific reason.

To combat loneliness.

To teach me something about myself.

To give me courage.

To sharpen and refine me in various ways.

And just as I needed them, surely they needed me, too.

People will come and go. We cannot hold every person on our path with a tight gripped fist. Rather, we can love them with open arms. Welcoming them in for as long as the season lasts. Maybe it will be a lifetime, maybe not.

Regardless, we can be thankful for the time we shared. For the season of friendship. Because God has planted them there for a reason. Just as He has planted you.

And when we look at it through that lens, we can thank God for providing the perfect supply.