Sorrow and rejoicing
You are cordially invited to celebrate the marriage of…
The words poured like salt, burning the raw, gaping wound in my heart. In the midst of my own marriage falling apart, a friend had invited me to her wedding.
Didn’t she have any clue how this made me feel?
Was she trying to increase my misery by reminding me, with the joy of her pending nuptials, that mine had failed?
Did she send this invitation as a way to taunt me, her happiness magnifying my sorrow?
Or did she send it because she truly wanted to include me in the celebration of one of the happiest days of her life?
I didn’t go to the wedding. I was confident I wouldn’t be able to sit through the ceremony without shedding tears, and they wouldn’t be tears of happiness.
Blinded and consumed by my own sorrow, I chose not to celebrate the happiness of a friend’s, and it’s a decision that I regret.
Swimming in the depths of grief and disappointment has a unique way of increasing our selfishness, thus decreasing our joy. We become so nearsighted that all we can see, feel, and experience are the emotions belonging to us, and every emotion that doesn’t line up or support those feelings is perceived as a personal attack.
When your friend announced her pregnancy during the midst of your infertility.
When your new co-worker received the promotion you’ve worked years for.
When your classmate shared her college acceptance letter after you opened your rejection letter.
When your neighbor comes home from the hospital yet your loved one received a bad diagnosis.
It’s hard. I absolutely understand.
Sorrow comes easy, but joy must be sought out and chosen.
Because when we embrace sorrow, it morphs into envy, jealousy, and pride. We grow miserable with the life we’ve been given rather than grateful for all that God has done and is doing. And if given the opportunity, our feelings will produce a hard heart, threatening to separate us from those we love, God included.
“Love must be sincere… cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer… rejoice with those who rejoice… live in harmony with one another…” (Romans 12)
Friends, do not let your sorrow drown out the joy. Just because it’s not your good news, your good fortune, your good circumstances, doesn’t mean it’s not worthy of celebration. Praise God for the good things he’s doing in the lives of the people around you and rejoice with them.
Because one day it will be your turn, and you’ll want to invite everyone you love and know to celebrate and rejoice with you.
