Reason #107

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilage to carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus Knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.

I grew up in a Southern Baptist church so I've memorized quite a selection of hymns. Today, I've had the above song stuck in my head. Growing up, I don't think I really took the words of these hymns to heart. They were old and traditional and I just felt like the new worship songs were more my "thing." But as I've gotten older, and as my vocabulary has expanded, these ancient words mean more and more to me. Beautiful words of truth and comfort. Good advice, too.

My prayer life has grown leaps and bounds over the past 7 months. Sure, I prayed every day growing up. I prayed each night at dinner and did a pretty good job of praying before bed, too. I would go through phases where my prayer life would really blossom and then I would back off. But in October, I really got to witness the power of prayer. And I realized, for the first time, that I really can pray about anything and everything at anytime in any place. So I began doing it. Just laying it all out there. No matter how painful, irrational, embarrassing, silly or insignificant, I told Him about it. I took everything to Him. I felt kind of strange praying about certain things. Some things were easier to pray about than others. But I learned that He was listening to each one because He kept answering. And I started praying with the expectation of an answer. Fully believing that He was going to move and act. And the really cool thing about doing this is that He is still answering those prayers.

My life changed significantly in October. Not only did I lose the person who had promised to never leave me, I also lost a chunk of my social life. I have the most wonderful, precious friends a girl could ask for, but all of those sweet friends came in pairs. Pairs with the same last name. Pairs with rings on their fingers. Pairs with plans for a future together. I wasn't a pair anymore. I was an odd ball, a third wheel. A third wheel who felt like she lost a lot of her commonality. But my girlfriends understood that and were so sweet to include me in many girls' outings. However, married women talk about married life and husbands and babies and families...all things I no longer had and am not guaranteed to ever have. I felt like an outsider who should have been an insider. An outsider in my own world. An outsider overnight. So I began to pray and ask for some single friends. People who had things in common with me. I was pretty convinced that there were no single people over the age of 22 in Lubbock so I began to feel very discouraged. Very alone. Isolated. I tried a few different things to meet people who were in similar life stages as me, but I wasn't having much luck. The enemy also had me convinced that if I did find people who were in a similar life stage, they wouldn't want to associate with me anyway. But I continued to pray and ask and hope.

Well, I had lunch with another answered prayer today. Sitting at Market Street, eating my chicken salad sandwich, and in walked that answered prayer. I had met this answered prayer a few years ago, back when I was a pair, but I didn't get to know her then because I was making plans. Plans for a different future. Fast forward a few years and I found myself sitting in a room full of people still feeling quite a bit alone. Feeling isolated, trying to fit in but knowing it wasn't going to happen. I noticed she was there too, but I didn't say anything because I was embarrassed. I figured she would remember me and ask and then, in my shame, I'd have to tell her what happened. Fast forward a few more weeks and we were presented the opportunity to have pie together. And we clicked, but I still didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what to say. "Hey, remember me? We met a few years ago and I know I haven't said anything to you over the past few weeks when I've seen you, but it's not because I don't remember you. I'm embarrassed because I'm not sure if you know what I've been through." That makes for an awkward conversation so I didn't say anything, and to my surprise no questions were asked and lovely conversation was enjoyed.

Well, fast forward to today and I finally got to share my story with her. To my surprise, she already knew. And, on top of that, she knew how I felt. Fortunately, she hasn't been down the same road I have, but she understood what it's like to feel alone. To feel like you don't have a place. And, in a town of over 215,000 people, to feel like you're the only one who feels that way. So we stood in the parking lot, under the warm spring sun, and we began to share what God was laying on our hearts. And, I'll be, it was the exact same thing! Yet, another answered prayer. And she made a comment that really stuck with me, as she said, "so amazing how God cares about the little things in our life...wow, how He loves us!" That, He does!

And I'm so thankful that I really can take everything to Him in prayer.

#107 - Because He hears my prayers... all of them!

"I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!" - Psalm 116:1-2