Reason #114
As I've shared before, I'm a planner. I'm detailed oriented and I like to be very involved in the planning of my life. Thursday night, I stood with a friend in my living room as we discussed our potential futures. Unknown futures. She took the words right out of my mouth when she said, "I've come to realize that if I have a plan, it's not going to happen. God doesn't ever do the things I want, which really is good because He always does something better."
And I've found this to be the case in my life, too. Some areas I'm fine with letting Him plan out. Those areas don't really matter as much to me and I'm not too particular about what happens. But then there are those areas that I want to plan. They mean so much to me. Deep desires that produce fear because I can't control them... but I want to. So I try to figure Him out. Decipher His ways. And as soon as I think I've done it, I come to see that I've figured wrong. Truthfully, it drives me crazy! Oh, if I could just see what lies ahead!
So today, as I huffed and puffed on the eliptical at the gym, I began to discuss this with my mom. Strange things have happened. Things that have no explanation other than the fact that they simply weren't God's will. My desires, but not His desires for me. And I tried. I tried to figure these things out and just when I thought I had, just when it seemed to make sense, just when I felt like I knew His plan in all of this, I was wrong. And so I spent a few weeks lamenting over it. Crying and getting frustrated and being mad about it. It didn't make sense. From my perspective, it seemed to be such a good idea. But my vision is far from 20/20 and I realize I can't see very well. So maybe, this is what it means to "live by faith and not by sight." (2 Corinthians 5:7) To not be able to see where you're going but to go anyway. To keep trusting when realizing that your plans aren't working out. To have faith that His will is much better even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. After all, "Faith is the confidence of what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)
I remember that those who lived by faith were commended for it. They went down in history for their faith. Faith that was credited to them as righteousness. Faith that saved their lives in one form or another. And maybe, just maybe, that's what faith is all about. Saving our lives in one form or another. Maybe faith is more than providing you with a "fire insurance" policy. Maybe faith saves you when you don't even realize it, pulling you back in when you start unknowingly drifting into deeper waters. Maybe that saving faith is what some times breaks your heart. Maybe that saving faith is what keeps your plans from happening. Maybe that saving faith scares the living daylights out of you. But, "to the faithful, [He] shows himself faithful." (Psalm 18:25) And so, by our faith, by that saving faith, we do, in fact, get to see. We get to see God in an incredible way. Maybe we can't see where we're going, but He can. He sees where we've been, where we're at and where we're headed. So I'd like to think that He inteded it that way, limited our vision for a reason. If we can't see where to go, we'll just have to follow behind Him, the one thing we can see. And as we walk, keeping our eyes on Him, we have faith that He'll safely lead us to something better than we would have ever planned for ourselves in the first place.
#114 - Because I have faith that He is going to do something better!
"And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him." - Hebrews 11:6
And I've found this to be the case in my life, too. Some areas I'm fine with letting Him plan out. Those areas don't really matter as much to me and I'm not too particular about what happens. But then there are those areas that I want to plan. They mean so much to me. Deep desires that produce fear because I can't control them... but I want to. So I try to figure Him out. Decipher His ways. And as soon as I think I've done it, I come to see that I've figured wrong. Truthfully, it drives me crazy! Oh, if I could just see what lies ahead!
So today, as I huffed and puffed on the eliptical at the gym, I began to discuss this with my mom. Strange things have happened. Things that have no explanation other than the fact that they simply weren't God's will. My desires, but not His desires for me. And I tried. I tried to figure these things out and just when I thought I had, just when it seemed to make sense, just when I felt like I knew His plan in all of this, I was wrong. And so I spent a few weeks lamenting over it. Crying and getting frustrated and being mad about it. It didn't make sense. From my perspective, it seemed to be such a good idea. But my vision is far from 20/20 and I realize I can't see very well. So maybe, this is what it means to "live by faith and not by sight." (2 Corinthians 5:7) To not be able to see where you're going but to go anyway. To keep trusting when realizing that your plans aren't working out. To have faith that His will is much better even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. After all, "Faith is the confidence of what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)
I remember that those who lived by faith were commended for it. They went down in history for their faith. Faith that was credited to them as righteousness. Faith that saved their lives in one form or another. And maybe, just maybe, that's what faith is all about. Saving our lives in one form or another. Maybe faith is more than providing you with a "fire insurance" policy. Maybe faith saves you when you don't even realize it, pulling you back in when you start unknowingly drifting into deeper waters. Maybe that saving faith is what some times breaks your heart. Maybe that saving faith is what keeps your plans from happening. Maybe that saving faith scares the living daylights out of you. But, "to the faithful, [He] shows himself faithful." (Psalm 18:25) And so, by our faith, by that saving faith, we do, in fact, get to see. We get to see God in an incredible way. Maybe we can't see where we're going, but He can. He sees where we've been, where we're at and where we're headed. So I'd like to think that He inteded it that way, limited our vision for a reason. If we can't see where to go, we'll just have to follow behind Him, the one thing we can see. And as we walk, keeping our eyes on Him, we have faith that He'll safely lead us to something better than we would have ever planned for ourselves in the first place.
#114 - Because I have faith that He is going to do something better!
"And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him." - Hebrews 11:6