Reason #116
I hate bugs. I am terrified of moths and don't really care for spiders all that much either. Growing up, I left the bug killing to my parents. Living with girl roommates has made this interesting. Who will be the brave one and kill the bug? I love my roommate to pieces, and secretly, I hoped that she was brave when it came to bugs. I have a story to share concerning our bug debacle and I hope she won't mind. A few weeks ago, our evening conversation was interrupted by a spastically flying moth. We quickly came to realize that we both equally hate moths but one of us was going to have to do something about it. She suggested that we try to lure it back outside, but I didn't have the patience for that. So, armed with a fly-swatter and pillow, we both screamed and jumped as we randomly swung our weapons and finally, we took out that moth. I realize that I am a billion times bigger than the biggest bug, but for some reason, those little creepy crawlers get the best of me. Well, tonight, I stood in my kitchen and swatted at a moth for a good ten minutes. I had to pull out my step ladder and crawl up to stand on the countertop to get it, but I finally got it. And I got a napkin and I bent down and I picked that lifeless little pest up off the floor to throw away. Now, for those of you who know me, you know what a big feat this is for me. I don't deal with bugs. I don't touch bugs. But sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. And sometimes, we find out what we really are made of, what we are capable of, when we don't have another option.
Over the past many months, I have come to realize that I am quite capable of more than I knew. Maybe bug killing doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but it is for me. I learned that I can travel long distances by myself, another big feat. Staying alone has been a challenge for me, one I don't particularly enjoy, but I am slowing getting better at it. Truthfully, I have been challenged in every which way and have seen a side of myself that I didn't know existed. Sure, I always liked to think of myself as a strong, independent woman, but I was never really put into the position where I had to prove it. Prove what I was made of. What am I capable of? What am I made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice? Well, probably more sugar than anything.
And I kind of wonder why I am so surprised at what I have learned about myself. Maybe, I didn't know myself as well as I thought I did. Maybe I knew what I was capable of deep down but I only did the things I wanted to do rather than the things I knew I could do. But I have been pushed to my limits, and just when I thought I couldn't possibly do any more, be any more, I was pushed a little farther. And I had to be brave. I had to fight. I had to forgive. I had to be humble. I had to practice patience. I had to hold my head up. I had to be graceful. I had to. I didn't know I was capable of these things, but He knew I was and so He helped me through them. Taught me what I was made of. Showed me what I can do when we work together. And I see that I would have never figured out my composition had I not walked down this path. Had I not been on this journey, I would have never known what I could do when I had to.
And maybe, just like those despised little moths, God sends things our way to show us what we're made of. Reminding us of what we can do when we draw from His strength. Some times those things are frustrating, scary, devastating, and heartbreaking, but as we stand, swinging our swatters and screaming our heads off, we come to realize that we can do this. We are capable of this. We are made of more than we think we are. More than we ever knew. And each time, with each encounter, we learn more and we're better prepared for the next.
I think the moth infestation of Lubbock is slowly coming to an end, and for that I'm grateful. But I've learned a little about myself as I've dealt with these pesky creatures. I've surprised myself, and, I'm a little proud of my new found bravery, too. And I just thank the Lord, that as I have been pushed to my limits, He has so faithfully shown me what I can do. Things that I don't always want to do, but I can. And I know I am only capapble because He walks with me every step of the way reminding me that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
#116 - Because He has made me capable of more than I ever knew.
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." - Psalm 18:29
Over the past many months, I have come to realize that I am quite capable of more than I knew. Maybe bug killing doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but it is for me. I learned that I can travel long distances by myself, another big feat. Staying alone has been a challenge for me, one I don't particularly enjoy, but I am slowing getting better at it. Truthfully, I have been challenged in every which way and have seen a side of myself that I didn't know existed. Sure, I always liked to think of myself as a strong, independent woman, but I was never really put into the position where I had to prove it. Prove what I was made of. What am I capable of? What am I made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice? Well, probably more sugar than anything.
And I kind of wonder why I am so surprised at what I have learned about myself. Maybe, I didn't know myself as well as I thought I did. Maybe I knew what I was capable of deep down but I only did the things I wanted to do rather than the things I knew I could do. But I have been pushed to my limits, and just when I thought I couldn't possibly do any more, be any more, I was pushed a little farther. And I had to be brave. I had to fight. I had to forgive. I had to be humble. I had to practice patience. I had to hold my head up. I had to be graceful. I had to. I didn't know I was capable of these things, but He knew I was and so He helped me through them. Taught me what I was made of. Showed me what I can do when we work together. And I see that I would have never figured out my composition had I not walked down this path. Had I not been on this journey, I would have never known what I could do when I had to.
And maybe, just like those despised little moths, God sends things our way to show us what we're made of. Reminding us of what we can do when we draw from His strength. Some times those things are frustrating, scary, devastating, and heartbreaking, but as we stand, swinging our swatters and screaming our heads off, we come to realize that we can do this. We are capable of this. We are made of more than we think we are. More than we ever knew. And each time, with each encounter, we learn more and we're better prepared for the next.
I think the moth infestation of Lubbock is slowly coming to an end, and for that I'm grateful. But I've learned a little about myself as I've dealt with these pesky creatures. I've surprised myself, and, I'm a little proud of my new found bravery, too. And I just thank the Lord, that as I have been pushed to my limits, He has so faithfully shown me what I can do. Things that I don't always want to do, but I can. And I know I am only capapble because He walks with me every step of the way reminding me that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
#116 - Because He has made me capable of more than I ever knew.
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." - Psalm 18:29