Reason #118

Anxious – earnestly desirous (dictionary.com)

I have learned that anxiety comes in many forms, and according to dictionary.com, it also has many definitions. I’ve had anxiety that has kept me from eating, anxiety that can only be calmed by chocolate, anxiety that has kept me up at night, anxiety that has produced tears, anxiety that has ruined my skin, anxiety that has put dark circles under my eyes, anxiety that has twisted my stomach into knots, and not a single one of those forms was enjoyable. I’ve even experienced some “good” anxiety and I don’t particularly enjoy that type either.

God has given me so many good friends who are packed full of wisdom. Friends who speak the truth I need to hear and don’t even know they are doing it. Friends who give me great pieces of advice to hang on to without realizing it. I’ve learned to listen closer. Listen more often and take more to heart. Decipher what is truth, what is worth keeping and what is worth erasing. A week or two ago, a friend shared with me some of his anxiety. Then, after spilling his guts, he said “Everytime I start to worry about this thing, I just start praying cause it's all I can do at the moment."

“Don’t be anxious about anything, instead pray about everything…” (Philippians 4:6)

Moses lived to be 120. A man, who I can imagine, had plenty of anxiety filled moments. And it was time to pass the torch. Let some one else finish what he had started. So Joshua stepped in as his successor. And Moses, a man of wisdom, spoke such truth to Joshua when he said, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

But I wonder if Joshua took those words to heart. I wonder if he was really listening when Moses gave him this incredibly encouraging piece of advice. Maybe he was, but did he really believe Moses? Fortunately for us, we get to read on and see that Moses was right.

Well, sometimes, it’s good to take the advice of your friends. Sometimes, it’s hard to take the advice of your friends, too. But I’ve been trying. Trying to pray and not be anxious. And yesterday, I was anxious and so I just decided that each time the anxiety crept into my mind, I would just turn that into prayer. That really was all I could do. Just pray about it. And as I talked to my mom about my anxiety, she reminded me of Moses’ words. Wise words. The Lord himself goes before you. And I forget that. I forget that when I get to where I’m going, He is already there. I forget that every step is guided. The path is paved. He leads me, clearing the way. And I see how He has not only done that but how He has even blessed me with others to fill that physical, tangible presence, reminding me that I don’t go alone. A reminder that I’ve not been forgotten and left to wander on my own. And it really is amazing how much anxiety decreases when you realize that you aren’t alone. Ever.

As long as I’m in this dust-made body, I know I will face anxiety in one form or another. So I’m thankful for a God who goes before me. For a God who never leaves me. For a God who is so kind to pair me up with fellow travelers along the way. A God to whom I can pray about every anxiety, every concern, and every worry. Because really, that is the best thing to do at any moment.

#118 – Because He goes before me, I don’t have to worry.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” – Matthew 6:34