Reason #153

I graduated college two months after the stock market tanked. I had a degree that I hated and no clue of where to even look for a job. At the time, I was working part-time at bank and I absolutely loved it. Of course, graduating from college means you start supporting yourself, and my minimum wage job was not going to provide the funds I needed in order to do that. I had gone through an extensive interview process for a job that I really wanted however, I was going to have to move to either Midland or El Paso if I accepted it, so I turned the job down. A friend called to let me know that there was an opening in her office. In the business world, I’ve come to learn that it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. So I went in for an interview and was basically offered the position before the interview even started. I didn’t really search around or look for another job. I figured I should just take that one since the economy was crumbling and jobs were harder to find.

For the next year and half I was miserable. I spent at least 8 hours a day in a place I didn’t want to be doing a job I didn’t want to do. I tried to be thankful that I had a job when many people didn’t, but the fact that I spent most of the days driving home in tears didn’t help. I was so discouraged and disappointed that this was how my life was turning out. I had hoped that I would have a job that was at least somewhat enjoyable with co-workers who would double as friends. I had these “dreams” in college of doing something important, something significant with my life. Not only was this job stressing me out, it was changing my personality. I was becoming easily irritable, grumpy and slightly depressed. Well, I finally got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore, and I just knew I had to get out of there. I found another random job and quickly jumped on the opportunity to take it. Truthfully, I was just looking for anything. I needed a way out. A month into this new job, I realized that it was not the job for me. I did absolutely nothing for 8 hours a day. Literally, nothing. I had gone from a job where I had a huge amount of responsibility to a job where I just sat and surfed the internet all day. The only redeeming part of my new job was my co-worker, a girl who has since become one of my dearest friends. And so the discouragement set back in. I wondered if this was just the working world. I wondered where I had gone so wrong. Why couldn’t I find a job that I enjoyed? Was that too much to hope for? Did it even exist?

Well three months of doing nothing can drive a person crazy, so I began spending my time at work job searching. I figured if I wasn’t going to be able to do something productive at work, I might as well do something productive for my professional life. Off and on I had been praying for a job where I could be used. Truthfully, I was not being very diligent in my prayers because I was so discouraged. I had gone from one disappointing job to another. I started to pray for a job that I actually enjoyed and for a job where I could use my gifts and talents. I figured if I did find that perfect job, I probably wouldn’t be qualified for it since I had an accounting background. Well, I came across a job posting that sounded like the perfect job for me, took my chances and applied, and I’ve been doing that very job for a little over a year and half now.

This morning, I sat in my co-worker’s office with my boss and the three of us squealed with excitement as my co-worker shared with us some exciting news. We laughed and smiled and started getting emotional as we were so happy for her. And I just felt so blessed to be there. Blessed to be sitting in that office with two sweet ladies who have become like family to me. Blessed to have experienced so many ups and downs with them and to be able to be more than just “co-workers” with them.

Two years ago, I would have thought it impossible to have a job that you love. Two years ago, I would have thought it impossible to enjoy getting up in the morning for work. And maybe I love my job so much because for two years I was miserable. Maybe I appreciate my job even more because for two years I felt trapped. And I’ve started to notice this in life. Maybe sometimes God has to take us on a less pleasant journey to get us back to where He needs us to be. Maybe the discouragement, the sorrow, the frustration that is experienced during that time is necessary so that when He finally gets you where He desires for you to be, you appreciate it all the more. Because sometimes we only think we know what we need until we’re there, and then we realize that maybe it would have been better if we would have waited on Him first rather than stepping out on our own. Maybe if we would have trusted Him in the uncertainty from the start, rather than letting fear drive us to the first opportunity that presented itself, we wouldn’t have had to walk that long winding road back.

But the good thing is that when you start to trust Him, when you start to follow Him, He will get you where you need to be. Some times the journey takes a longer because you wandered off on your own a little further, but He is faithful to lead you back every time. And I’m learning that when He finally gets you to that spot where He intended you to be from the start, it’s sweeter and better than anything you’ve experienced up to that point. Usually, it’s way better than your original idea and expectations, too. And as I drove to work this morning, I just thought “Wow, God! Wow!” Two years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined that this is where I would be. Two years ago, I had no clue how far off the beaten path I had wandered. And so I’m thankful that He has been faithful to lead me right back to where He needs me to be. Probably right where He had intended for me from the start. It has just taken me a while to figure that out.

#153 – Because He will get me where He needs me to be.

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground.” – Psalm 143:10