Reason #164

That girl. That girl who is ___________. That girl who has ­­____________. That girl who always __________. That’s the one.

I am her. That girl who just sort of realized it this weekend. That girl I never thought I’d be. That girl I didn’t want to be known as. That girl who has a label she severely dislikes, and who won’t be able to ever get rid of it because I’ve become “that girl.”

So I sat in my office today feeling ever so “this and that.” Realizing there isn’t much I can do about being “that girl” sometimes.

Or is there?

I turned my radio on and started ferociously typing away on my keyboard. Today was as Monday as Monday could get. Hectic from the moment I sat down at my desk. A Monday that deserved two chai lattes but only got one. That kind of day.

The words began to flow from the radio into my ear. “I am redeemed. You set me free. So I shake off these heavy chains, wipe away every stain, I’m not who I used to be. I am redeemed…”

My fingers froze. I stopped typing and made a point to sit and listen to the words. Let them fill my mind. Remind me of who I am.

I blogged my testimony 97 days ago. I blogged it because I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t hold it in. I just needed to get it off my chest. The next day, I checked my blog and noticed that I had a comment. A girl, who had somehow heard of my story, left me a comment. A girl I’ve never met, but a girl who said words that blessed my heart in a big, big way, especially today as the Lord has brought them back to my mind. This is what she had to say.

“I don’t know you, Brittnye, but I’m sorry to say I had heard about your situation. I was immediately concerned for you and what your recovery was looking like…I was going through the most exciting time of my life in planning a wedding while you were going through your most difficult. This blog has made all my concerns for your “survival” vanish. You are “one of those.” One of those women whose trials never define their lot in life. Who always run to the Lord first. Who negate the lies with TRUTH. Thank you for your courage. For your story.”

That girl. That girl who doesn’t feel very brave, but survived. That girl who, only by the saving power of Jesus Christ, emerged from walking through a long, difficult time. That girl who has learned, and is still learning, how to get up after being knocked down. That girl who wears her scars on her sleeves in hopes that they’ll make a difference for His kingdom. That girl who still gets discouraged, but that girl who has learned where to look for help. That girl who keeps moving forward, fighting and believing. That girl who doesn’t have it all together, but that girl who has been redeemed, set free. That girl who is not who she used to be.

That’s me.

#164 – Because, by His grace and power, I’m “that girl.”

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out!” – Psalm 107:1-2