Reason #222

I had yet another wonderful dinner tonight. I made sure to dress accordingly, as I wore a skirt that had a little give in it. I knew I would leave the restaurant feeling miserably stuffed, and I lived up to that expectation. I ate dinner with two of my co-workers. One who knew my story and one who didn't. I am an open book, I love to share the details of my life, but I don't always share the full story if it's not necessary. I think I've worked through the shame side of it, and I've realized that by sharing, I have an opportunity to tell about the goodness of God. However, I don't really want to waste too much breath giving attention to the sad and ugly details, so I usually am brief and selective when it comes to that part.

One of my co-workers began to ask about the new things going on in my life, exciting things, things I enjoy discussing. As I shared with her, I quickly realized that my other co-worker wasn't listening with the same understanding as he was not aware of what last year held for me. So I started to share, I gave him insight into my life, my story, and he listened closely. I could see sincere sympathy in his eyes combined with a hint of protectiveness. He had no clue of my past, no clue of why this new development was such big news, but I could tell he was genuinely glad for me. And it did my heart good to realize that this co-worker, whom I've only know for a short stint of time, already cared enough about me to be concerned and happy all in one setting.

It's good to be on the other side. It's good to be able to tell people my story without being accompanied by shame and embarrassment. Because I've realized how much this story has changed my life. Sure, it's changed a lot of things, but mostly it has changed me. I realized how much deeper I understand the Lord now. I realized how much richer my life is because I've had the opportunity to walk through the fire with Him. Most of all, I've been so blessed to truly see first hand how He does, in fact, cause all things to work together for the good (Romans 8:28).

I love retrospect. I love hindsight. Not only is it a valuable teacher, but it's an eye opener. I love being able to look back at myself, my cicumstances, and see how God has planned things out for me. I love having comparisons so that I can judge and see the progress that has been made.

Last fall, I did a study over the Israelites as they wandered in the wilderness. I know their story, their full redemptive story. I know the details, I know why God did what He did. I know why He took them on the path He did. I know what His plan was, and I know how He accomplished His will. I know this because I've read their story. I got to see how it ended. I was given knowledge that they didn't have at the time. And it makes total sense to me. The plan was so much bigger than they knew, than they realized. He was going to do so much more that they could ever wrap their minds around. And the thing is, their story didn't stop when they made it into the Promised Land. Their story, really, was written as a never ending story. A story that was the beginning breath of eternity. Because from this story, eternal life would flow. Redemption for all of us would come. But it had to happen in phases. It had to happen at just the right moment. It had to happen a certain, perfectly planned out way. There was purpose behind every step they took in the wilderness, there was meaning behind the path they walked, the God who was leading them was doing so intentionally. And although they couldn't see it at the time, although they couldn't understand it as they walked it, much progress was being made. A lot of ground was being covered, but it was all for the good. Now, looking back on it, having valuable hindsight, I bet they'd be thankful they got to be a part of such an amazing story. The real joy of being on the other side.

So I've looked back over my journey. 222 days in and I am amazed at the ground that has been covered. I am amazed at the progress that has been made. This story of redemption, my personal story of redemption, is still in progress. And, just like the Israelites, I'm coming to realize that really, this story is never ending. Because that's how God writes our stories. Life long stories, eternal stories, every step with purpose, every twist full of meaning, and every path completely intentional. And, some days, I'm still not sure where He's leading me. Some days, I don't completely understand and I have no clue how it will all end. But even in the bad, the confusion, the sorrow, the darkness, the good times, the joy, the excitement and the unknown, He's right there, causing it all, every single piece, to work together for the good.

#222 - Because much ground has been covered in this redemptive story.

"For the Lord your God has blessed you in everything you have done. He has watched your every step through this great wilderness." - Deuteronomy 2:7
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Reason #221