Reason #238

I was so fortunate to see Kari Jobe in concert last night. I've been looking forward to seeing her for a month, and it was as wonderful as I anticipated. So many of her songs have spoken directly to my heart and encouraged me as I've walked through the toughest seasons of life, and so I was thrilled to actually hear her live. It was an incredible time of worship. As she sang one of her songs, one I didn't know, I just stood still and closed my eyes. My prayer was that I would just experience Him. Because, as I've discovered over the past year, an evening of worship is powerfully refreshing for the soul. And as I stood still, His peace washed over me and the tears began to fall down my cheeks as I was overwhelmed by His love. Oh, how I love the moments when He quiets my soul. When His presence is tangible and His peace is evident. And as I listened to so many voices singing His praise, I didn't want it to end. I just wanted to stay right there, to simply be still and know He is God.

The Lord has been teaching me much about love over the past few weeks. I come from a loving family. A group who always give hugs and ends every conversation with "I love you." So I thought I had it down. I thought I had a good grasp on what love really is. And maybe, in human form, I kind of understand it. But last night, the lesson continued. And as I stood in the church sanctuary, I began to slightly grasp just a little more of that wide, long, high, deep love that Christ sheds on us (Ephesians 3:17-19).

A group named All Sons & Daughters opened up for Kari Jobe. They have a beautifully haunting sound, and as they sang their first song, I held on to every word.

 

Will your grace run out

if I let you down?

Cause all I know

is how to run.

 

Will you call me child

when I tell you lies?

Cause all I know

is how to cry.

 

Cause I am a sinner

if it's not one thing it's another

caught up in words tangled in lies.

You are the Savior

and you take brokenness aside

and make it beautiful

beautiful

 

 

And I thought about these words. I thought about the love that He has for me, and I don't understand it. Because here's the truth. Sometimes, love can be scary. Love means being vulnerable, letting down your guard. Love shows it all, and love sees it all. Love reveals the truth. And so He sees it all. My imperfections, my inadequecies, my insecurities, my bad moods, my high emotions, my true self sans the beauty products and intentionally positioned clothing, the inside and outside, my every action, my every thought. He hears my every word, knows each move before I make it. He knows my stubbornness, my resistent attitude, my planning ways, my selfishness. And I look at me and I don't see why. I don't know why someone would love me that deeply. Someone who has seen me at my worst, my best, and everything inbetween and is still truly in love with me. Someone who, despite all my fleshly ways, still comes to my rescue and fights for me. Someone who accepts me just the way I am and lays out no conditions or requirements for me to meet. Someone who loves me regardless of how nice I am, how put together I look, how well I behave. And most of all, someone who loves me even though I have nothing to offer Him. Because I don't. I could never come up with something worth value to give. I could never present Him with anything that would compare to what He's given me. Because all I can give Him is a fragile heart that's covered with some scars. A heart that's been pieced back together and is far from perfect or worth a second look. But that's the thing about His love. It doesn't matter what I give Him. Because whatever I offer He gladly takes, and out of His great love, He turns it into something beautiful!

 

#238 - Because His love transforms our brokenness into something beautiful!

 

"Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house; I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe." - Psalm 5:7