Reason #282

I took a Sunday afternoon nap today. I love naps, especially on Sundays. I needed it. I was so exhausted. My alarm went off, and I fought the temptation to simply stay tucked under the covers. I finally rolled out of my bed and began getting ready for church.

I have had a lot of realizations over the past few months. The Lord has been teaching me so much. Some lessons have been easier than others, but I'm thankful for each one. And so we'll work on something for a while. Sometimes, I'm a slow learner. Sometimes, I just want to get the basics and move on. But He is patient, waiting for me to really grasp it. To truly understand it. To really believe it. And so, He waits for it to sink it.

As I put on my make-up, I turned on the radio. I can get ready so much faster if I don't listen to music, but I don't like the silence. Plus, I enjoy a good vocal session when putting on make-up, and singing in the bathroom makes you sound like a pro, so I always opt to run a few minutes behind. I love hymns. My Southern Baptist roots were definitely watered by the words of hymns, so I always turn up the radio when one happens to play. My heart was encouraged as the song began to play. I listened to the words, as this was a remake, and sang along with the chorus.

 

"Just as I am without one plea.

But that thy blood was shed for me.

And that thou bidst me come to thee.

Oh Lamb of God I come, I come."

 

Acceptance. I've had a really hard time with this. This was a new feeling for me to experience, as I had never had this issue before. But we go through life and we're faced with things and new challenges and struggles are presented. And so I had a really hard time feeling accepted. I had a hard time feeling worthy of acceptance. Really, most of all, I had a hard time believing it. Because who would want me? Who would want what little I could offer? I felt unworthy. I didn't feel valuable or even valued for that matter. And when one sees themself in such a negative light, how could we ever expect anything else? If we can't accept ourselves, who can? But God has been teaching me. For months and months, this slow lessons has been playing out. And as I belted out this chorus in my bathroom, it hit me. It clicked. God accepts us just as we are. This isn't new information, I know. This isn't something you've never heard before. I had heard this before. I had preached it, too. But I didn't really grasp it. I didn't really understand it, and when it came to myself, I didn't really believe it. How could a God so good, so holy, so magnificent and majestic accept a girl like me? A girl wrapped in flesh who gets emotional at the drop of a hat, a girl who has made mistakes, a girl who has disobeyed, a girl who has followed her own desires and been resistent, a girl who struggles, one who forgets what she learns, one who has scars, an ordinary girl who stumbles and trips and tries her best but gets it wrong more often than not. How could He so easily, so lovingly, so mercifully accept that?

 

But just as I am, He accepts me. Broken, repaired, hurting, rejoicing, sinful, forgiven, redeemed, regretful, thankful, sorrowful, happy, sad, I can come to Him in any form because He accepts me. For who I am, for who He made me to be, whatever I'm feeling, whatever I'm thinking, whatever I've done or whatever has happened, I can come to Him. Because long before I chose Him, He chose me. Long before I realized I needed Him, sweet blood was shed for me. Shed so that I could come. Shed because I am accepted. Shed for me, knowing full well that I would be just as I am.

 

#282 - Because He accepts me just as I am.

 

"Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory." - Romans 15:7