Reason #291

You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives…” – James 4:2-3

Every Sunday, God challenges me with the truth. Sitting in church, listening to wise men present the living, breathing word of God in an eye-opening, heart-softening way, God always confronts me with truth. Sometimes, it jumps out and grabs me. A revelation that changes the way I see things. It clicks. Sometimes, I have to dwell on it. Pick it apart and really think about it. Think about the challenge that was presented. This past Sunday night was a combination of both. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve asked God for something with wrong motives, I’d have quite a chunk of change. But here’s the thing, rarely have I noticed I was doing that. Because to me, it seemed like a really good, God-honoring request. It made sense to me that I should ask and He should answer in a particular manner because I always look at things from my earthly, flesh-filled, flawed perspective. And after all, what does it hurt to ask, right? Like I always say, you never know until you ask.
 

He tells us again and again to present our requests to Him. To come to Him and petition. So He welcomes our questions. He doesn’t mind our asking. The problem is, we don’t know what we’re asking for a majority of the time. Because if He truly gave us exactly what we were asking for, we’d probably wish that we wouldn’t have asked for it in the first place. If He gave us what we thought we needed, we’d probably be asking for Him to take it back soon thereafter. And so Sunday night, the light came on. Click! I’ve spent time wondering why I’ve not always gotten what I’ve asked for in life. I’ve questioned why the answer has been either ‘No’ or something totally opposite of what I asked. When I asked, I asked not knowing what I was asking for. I asked because I’m selfish and I only thought about how the outcome would affect me. When I asked, I asked with limited perspective and blinded vision. I asked because I had no clue what was coming my way. And as I sat in church on Sunday night, as this truth sunk in, I praised God whole-heartedly for seeing through my sneaky little “Brittnye-schemes,” knowing I was asking for all the wrong reasons, asking out of blindness, ignorance, and selfishness, and out of His great love for me, telling me ‘No.’
 

There’s an old Garth Brooks song called ‘Unanswered Prayers.’ In the chorus he says, “Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers.’ And although Garth may have a point there, I kind of see it differently. I don’t think there are unanswered prayers. I think when you ask, you will receive an answer. But we want a yes and we want it right away. We’re holding out hope for a particular answer. Over the past many months, I’ve come to realize that God loves us way too much to always tell us ‘yes,’ Now that I have retrospect, and some added wisdom, I am so thankful God has been firm in telling me ‘No’ more often than not. How good is He? How gracious is He to not give in to a persistent and whine-y girl who basically asks questions that are going to end up getting her in over her head? Too good, that’s the answer. He is too good! Too good to say ‘yes’ because He sees the whole picture and He knows full well that giving me everything I’ve ever asked for would be damaging. It would be hazardous to me, and ultimately, it wouldn’t draw me closer to Him. But as I’ve seen over the past many months, God has been patiently waiting to give me what I’ve asked for. I had asked for a long time, a really long time and had stopped. I figured it was too late now, but it wasn’t. A prayer that seemed unanswered was being answered through a lot of ‘No’s’ before He could finally give me the answer I had been praying for. I had finally stopped asking with wrong motives and just began asking. Knowing full well I didn’t “deserve” what I was asking for but believed that He wouldn’t give me anything that wasn’t best for me. He caught me off guard.
 

One year my parents totally surprised me at Christmas. I am kind of hard to surprise. I have this way of getting information out of people by accident and easily putting the pieces together. Basically, I’m really good at ruining my own surprises. Really, I think I should have been a detective. Anyhow, this was one of the few occasions where I had something coming my way and didn’t see it. I had been admiring this incredible watch at the mall. Every time my mom and I went, I’d make a point to go look at it and admire it. This watch had my name written all over it. It was big, sparkley, and pink. I wanted it. I really, really wanted it. I looked at the price tag and, because I’ve always been “fiscally conservative,” I felt that it was too much to ask for. But my mom knew I wanted it. I was basically asking for it by dragging her over to the showcase and gawking at this beauty. I didn’t have to verbally ask to make my request known. But I began to rationalize it. I told myself I didn’t need it. I had many watches and that was too much to ask for. It was just a watch, after all. Well, Christmas rolled around and I didn’t think unwrapping that watch was going to be a possibility. With each gift I unwrapped, my heart was grateful. Each gift given to me out of love, not because I deserved it or they owed it to me. And so it came down to the watch. Once again, I had no clue what was in that box. I knew it was a gift and whatever it was, I was going to be thankful for it. I pulled off the paper, opened the box and I began to cry. I know, a little dramatic, but I was totally overwhelmed at the moment. I was emotional not only because they had gotten me exactly what I wanted and didn’t see it coming, but I realized how they had been listening to me and paying attention to my desires. They didn’t have to do that. I wasn’t even expecting them to. I was happy just to be getting an unwarranted gift. They didn’t settle. They very well could have said, “She wants this pink watch so we’ll find one similar to it and give it to her. That’ll do. It’s just a watch. They all keep time and go on your wrist.” But they didn’t. They knew exactly what my little teenaged heart desired and they gave me that exact thing. They didn’t give me something that was “close enough” or something that would suffice. No, they gave me what I asked for because they wanted me to have it.
 

And so God has done this for me. God has given me what I asked for by not giving me what I was asking for. And the truth is, I didn’t think it was going to be a possibility. I had rationalized with myself and talked myself out of asking for it anymore because I just felt it was too much. Too much to ask, too much to expect, and not the least bit deserved. But God knew my heart. He knew what I wanted even if I wasn’t verbally asking because I was, in other ways, making my requests known. And when I finally got bold enough to do it. To ask for something that didn’t really seem like an option, He so generously said, ‘Yes.’ And I realize it’s because I finally started asking with the right motives. I quit being so selfish and began asking for things that would honor Him. Things that were pleasing to Him. Things that were going to draw me closer to Him. I quit asking Him to grant my wishes and I started asking Him to give me what He wanted me to have. And I’m grateful that we can confidently ask Him anything and know that, with total assurance, He’ll never give us anything that’s going to harm us or be detrimental to us. Rather, He gives us only good, only what’s best for us, and all because He loves us too much to do anything less than that.
 

#291- Because He loves us too much to always say ‘yes.’
 

“May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests.” – Psalm 20:4-5