Reason #347
I thought I knew what I was going to blog about this morning. I kind of had it written in my head before I left the house. But today was a whirlwind of a day, and my reason has changed.
Before I get started I have 2 disclaimers. 1.) This is going to be a long one so hang in there. 2.) Grandad, I know you will read this in a few hours. Tonight was a late night and I'm not sure you're still up, but you better believe I'll call you guys first thing in the morning.
God works in mysterious ways. When we don't see it, when we don't understand it, He is working. Working and moving and preparing good things for us. And maybe sometimes we have to go through really tough, difficult situations to get there, but God is faithful to always bring us to the place we need to be. God knows the desires of our hearts and He's faithful to meet them no matter what it takes.
When I was 13 I started praying for him. This man I wanted to marry. And I was really specific about it, too. But life and circumstances began to happen and, to be totally honest, I wasn't really sure he existed. Maybe I was asking or expecting too much, you know. Being a little over zealous. And so life continued and it went a totally different direction than I planned or ever expected. But even then, as my plans were not coming to fruition, God was working and moving and preparing good things.
Well, it's no surprise by now, if you've read any of my blogs or met me, that my life was turned upside down and every which way in 2011. How could this have happened to me? This was not what I had planned for my life. But, if I'm being completely honest, nothing up to that point was actually what I had planned either. So, at a loss for what to do, I just trusted God. After all, what other option did I have? And I was thrown back into life totally unprepared. Back into the "dating pool" and I floundered around like a fish out of water. Twenty-four years old and completely terrified. But God taught me so much about myself, and more than that, God taught me about love at the point when I felt most unloved.
So I had this desire in my heart to date again, but I felt so unworthy. How could I expect that to happen again anytime soon? Plus, who would want me? And so I reconciled that it would be a good 5 or so years and that really, I shouldn't even ask for such a privilige. But this was my desire and I didn't understand why God would give me this desire that wasn't going to be met. My mom and I spent countless conversations discussing this topic and she finally said, "Brittnye, God knows your heart. He knows what you want, so you need to just tell Him."
Slowly, and ever so slowly, I began to offer this prayer up. Half-heartedly at first, I'll admit. And here's the thing, I knew God could take care of any situation. After all, He had just done an incredible job of walking me through the deepest valley, so I had no doubt He could redeem things. But I just didn't see it. I didn't see any value in me. I saw a broken and scarred girl. One who was ruined and worthless and definitely didn't deserve that man she had been praying for for so many years.
God hears a mother's prayers, let me just say. And so, my mom, having full faith, began praying for this man even though I tried to convince her that it was probably a lost cause. And God began stirring in my heart. This desire was burning for some strange reason and I wasn't sure if was me or Him. So I got bold one night, and I ever so specifically wrote it down in my journal. "Lord, I'm ready when you are. I'm scared, I'm unsure, but you know I want this."
I was watching the Batman premier and my phone went off. My cousin texted me to tell me that she had a friend she wanted me to meet when I was ready. My heart skipped a beat and I wasn't sure I was brave enough to do it. I came home, and as every girl would, Facebook stalked him. Wow! So I agreed that I would meet him, however, I wouldn't do it alone. I mustered all the courage I had and two days later, I found myself sitting across from the sweetest, kindest, Godliest, and most handsome guy I've ever met. I remember watching him walk in. His blue shirt made his blue eyes pop even more. This was real. I was kind of on a date, and I had no clue what I was supposed to do.
Lunch ended, he shook my hand, and as he left I thought "He was nice but I highly doubt he's interested. We'll see. I'm not going to get myself worked up over this yet" Well, you know where I'm going with this. And so Aaron Davis quickly stole my heart and it didn't take me long to realize that I needed to spend the rest of my days with him.
Fast forward to Christmas. Friday, December 14th, day one of my 12 days of Christmas. And for the next 12 days, I received a surprise either in the form of a gift or an event. Twelve days of being spoiled completely rotten. Surprise after surprise and each one came with puzzle pieces. And so each day I would add to this puzzle wondering what it was. Day 12 was today. I woke up this morning eager to get my pieces but we had a full schedule. I knew I would have to wait until tonight. And so our day was jam packed with family and food and laughter. It was a beautiful day! Finally, we wrapped things up and I got my puzzle pieces. I put my puzzle together, which didn't give me an exact answer. However, my puzzle pieces were accompanied with a bandana. I put on the warmest clothes possible, tied the bandana around my eyes and found myself totally at Aaron's mercy. And so we drove on ice, in the freezing cold and I had no clue where we were headed. We finally made it to our destination. He let me out of the car and led me to a spot where I could hear music playing. In the middle of a gazebo, strung with Christmas lights, he untied the bandanda from my face. It was freezing cold, but I didn't care. He slipped his arms around my waist and we slowly began swaying to the music. A song began to play that literally stopped me in my tracks. Why, you may ask? I heard this song as a young girl and I always imagined that this song would be played at my wedding. This song described the man I had been praying for all these years. But this song faded away through time, as did my hopes of finding that one my heart longed for. This isn't just any song. And so tears began to fill my eyes. I looked up only to quickly look down as Aaron dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring box. And, right there, on the 12th day of Christmas, standing in a gazebo with snow all around us, Aaron asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.
I said yes!
So tonight is surreal. Tonight caught me off guard, but so did meeting Aaron. Because I didn't think he existed. Yet, for all of those years, God heard my prayers. And He took all of those things my heart desired, all of those things I needed, and He packaged them up in Aaron. Because I didn't understand what love felt like until I met him. I didn't understand what people meant when they said things like, "It's the way he looks at me" until Aaron looked at me that way. And my parents were right, you just know. It's easy and beautiful and even when it's a little tough, it's still so worth it. Because at the end of the day if you have someone who loves you for you, who will fight for you, have your back, stick up for you, hang in there with you, make you laugh, dry your tears, listen and do their best to understand, support you, encourage you, and really make you want to be a better person, then you know you need to keep them forever.
So God is a God who redeems. A God who has perfect timing and knows what He's doing. And when He allows our hearts to break, you can believe that as He repairs them, He will sow in a joy like you couldn't imagine. And I praise God for doing that for me. For taking me down the road that He did so that I could find Aaron. And because of that, I apprecaite him more than I'll ever be able to articulate. I know every girl thinks they're the luckiest girl alive, but the truth is, I really am! Because Aaron is all I have ever needed. God created Him just for me, and there is no denying that. And so, were I asked to do it again, I'd walk through the fire and pain to get to him. He's worth it, and I'm just grateful that he feels that way about me, too.
So Aaron, thank you for making this the best Christmas ever. Thank you for loving the Lord and following Him with all your heart so that He could bring us together. Thank you for loving me in a way that no one ever has or ever could. You really do make me complete. And thank you, most of all, for asking me to be your wife. This is the biggest honor I could ever have bestowed upon me, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with you. I love you!
#347 - Aaron! Because God knew what I needed all along and made sure I got it!
"...I found the one my heart loves." - Song of Songs 3:4
Before I get started I have 2 disclaimers. 1.) This is going to be a long one so hang in there. 2.) Grandad, I know you will read this in a few hours. Tonight was a late night and I'm not sure you're still up, but you better believe I'll call you guys first thing in the morning.
God works in mysterious ways. When we don't see it, when we don't understand it, He is working. Working and moving and preparing good things for us. And maybe sometimes we have to go through really tough, difficult situations to get there, but God is faithful to always bring us to the place we need to be. God knows the desires of our hearts and He's faithful to meet them no matter what it takes.
When I was 13 I started praying for him. This man I wanted to marry. And I was really specific about it, too. But life and circumstances began to happen and, to be totally honest, I wasn't really sure he existed. Maybe I was asking or expecting too much, you know. Being a little over zealous. And so life continued and it went a totally different direction than I planned or ever expected. But even then, as my plans were not coming to fruition, God was working and moving and preparing good things.
Well, it's no surprise by now, if you've read any of my blogs or met me, that my life was turned upside down and every which way in 2011. How could this have happened to me? This was not what I had planned for my life. But, if I'm being completely honest, nothing up to that point was actually what I had planned either. So, at a loss for what to do, I just trusted God. After all, what other option did I have? And I was thrown back into life totally unprepared. Back into the "dating pool" and I floundered around like a fish out of water. Twenty-four years old and completely terrified. But God taught me so much about myself, and more than that, God taught me about love at the point when I felt most unloved.
So I had this desire in my heart to date again, but I felt so unworthy. How could I expect that to happen again anytime soon? Plus, who would want me? And so I reconciled that it would be a good 5 or so years and that really, I shouldn't even ask for such a privilige. But this was my desire and I didn't understand why God would give me this desire that wasn't going to be met. My mom and I spent countless conversations discussing this topic and she finally said, "Brittnye, God knows your heart. He knows what you want, so you need to just tell Him."
Slowly, and ever so slowly, I began to offer this prayer up. Half-heartedly at first, I'll admit. And here's the thing, I knew God could take care of any situation. After all, He had just done an incredible job of walking me through the deepest valley, so I had no doubt He could redeem things. But I just didn't see it. I didn't see any value in me. I saw a broken and scarred girl. One who was ruined and worthless and definitely didn't deserve that man she had been praying for for so many years.
God hears a mother's prayers, let me just say. And so, my mom, having full faith, began praying for this man even though I tried to convince her that it was probably a lost cause. And God began stirring in my heart. This desire was burning for some strange reason and I wasn't sure if was me or Him. So I got bold one night, and I ever so specifically wrote it down in my journal. "Lord, I'm ready when you are. I'm scared, I'm unsure, but you know I want this."
I was watching the Batman premier and my phone went off. My cousin texted me to tell me that she had a friend she wanted me to meet when I was ready. My heart skipped a beat and I wasn't sure I was brave enough to do it. I came home, and as every girl would, Facebook stalked him. Wow! So I agreed that I would meet him, however, I wouldn't do it alone. I mustered all the courage I had and two days later, I found myself sitting across from the sweetest, kindest, Godliest, and most handsome guy I've ever met. I remember watching him walk in. His blue shirt made his blue eyes pop even more. This was real. I was kind of on a date, and I had no clue what I was supposed to do.
Lunch ended, he shook my hand, and as he left I thought "He was nice but I highly doubt he's interested. We'll see. I'm not going to get myself worked up over this yet" Well, you know where I'm going with this. And so Aaron Davis quickly stole my heart and it didn't take me long to realize that I needed to spend the rest of my days with him.
Fast forward to Christmas. Friday, December 14th, day one of my 12 days of Christmas. And for the next 12 days, I received a surprise either in the form of a gift or an event. Twelve days of being spoiled completely rotten. Surprise after surprise and each one came with puzzle pieces. And so each day I would add to this puzzle wondering what it was. Day 12 was today. I woke up this morning eager to get my pieces but we had a full schedule. I knew I would have to wait until tonight. And so our day was jam packed with family and food and laughter. It was a beautiful day! Finally, we wrapped things up and I got my puzzle pieces. I put my puzzle together, which didn't give me an exact answer. However, my puzzle pieces were accompanied with a bandana. I put on the warmest clothes possible, tied the bandana around my eyes and found myself totally at Aaron's mercy. And so we drove on ice, in the freezing cold and I had no clue where we were headed. We finally made it to our destination. He let me out of the car and led me to a spot where I could hear music playing. In the middle of a gazebo, strung with Christmas lights, he untied the bandanda from my face. It was freezing cold, but I didn't care. He slipped his arms around my waist and we slowly began swaying to the music. A song began to play that literally stopped me in my tracks. Why, you may ask? I heard this song as a young girl and I always imagined that this song would be played at my wedding. This song described the man I had been praying for all these years. But this song faded away through time, as did my hopes of finding that one my heart longed for. This isn't just any song. And so tears began to fill my eyes. I looked up only to quickly look down as Aaron dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring box. And, right there, on the 12th day of Christmas, standing in a gazebo with snow all around us, Aaron asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.
I said yes!
So tonight is surreal. Tonight caught me off guard, but so did meeting Aaron. Because I didn't think he existed. Yet, for all of those years, God heard my prayers. And He took all of those things my heart desired, all of those things I needed, and He packaged them up in Aaron. Because I didn't understand what love felt like until I met him. I didn't understand what people meant when they said things like, "It's the way he looks at me" until Aaron looked at me that way. And my parents were right, you just know. It's easy and beautiful and even when it's a little tough, it's still so worth it. Because at the end of the day if you have someone who loves you for you, who will fight for you, have your back, stick up for you, hang in there with you, make you laugh, dry your tears, listen and do their best to understand, support you, encourage you, and really make you want to be a better person, then you know you need to keep them forever.
So God is a God who redeems. A God who has perfect timing and knows what He's doing. And when He allows our hearts to break, you can believe that as He repairs them, He will sow in a joy like you couldn't imagine. And I praise God for doing that for me. For taking me down the road that He did so that I could find Aaron. And because of that, I apprecaite him more than I'll ever be able to articulate. I know every girl thinks they're the luckiest girl alive, but the truth is, I really am! Because Aaron is all I have ever needed. God created Him just for me, and there is no denying that. And so, were I asked to do it again, I'd walk through the fire and pain to get to him. He's worth it, and I'm just grateful that he feels that way about me, too.
So Aaron, thank you for making this the best Christmas ever. Thank you for loving the Lord and following Him with all your heart so that He could bring us together. Thank you for loving me in a way that no one ever has or ever could. You really do make me complete. And thank you, most of all, for asking me to be your wife. This is the biggest honor I could ever have bestowed upon me, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with you. I love you!
#347 - Aaron! Because God knew what I needed all along and made sure I got it!
"...I found the one my heart loves." - Song of Songs 3:4