Reason #356
I needed eyelid openers today. My eyelids felt as if they weighed a ton, and I spent the better half of the day fighting to keep them open. I got a little spoiled with my last job. My hours were 8:00 - 4:30, however, I never got there on time. In fact, I usually strolled in around 9:00ish. No one noticed, and no one really cared. As long as I did what I needed to do, that was all that mattered. I had my own office so I also ate breakfast every morning when I got to work. That way, I could easily make it until lunch without any hunger pains. Well, my new job requires me to be there at 8:00 sharp. No more late mornings for me. No more snooze button pressing for an hour, either. Can I just say that 6:30 comes too early? I could go to bed when I get home from work and I'd still have a hard time getting up at 6:30. And because I am not a morning person, that means I don't have time to eat breakfast at home. Unfortunately, I can't eat at work either. So, my body is not having an easy adjustment to this new schedule. Sleepy eyes and a hungry stomach are not a pleasant combination.
I decided to give myself the night off. I was so spent by the time I made it home I seriously considered whether or not I wanted to even expend the energy to eat dinner. After an hour and a half of lying around in my work clothes, I finally forced myself to get up and put on sweatpants. I decided since I was already up and moving, I would just heat up some leftovers before planting myself on the couch for the night. I have a lot to get accomplished. I'm not usually a procrastinator, but I definitely put everything on hold tonight. I sat my living room and treated myself to some TLC wedding shows as I painted my fingernails. It was nice. It was just what I needed, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about mindlessly watching competing brides rank one another's weddings.
I love nights like these. Nights where you don't even have to think. Because I've had to do a lot of thinking this week. More than that, I've had to do a lot of adjusting and I'm coming to realize that I am not quite as resilient as I thought I was. And as good as change can be, as desired and wanted as it can be, it can also be really tiring. My schedule has changed, and my mindset has been forced to change. I've had to re-route some of my thought processes and get used to new things. And here's the thing that I've come to see, it's really hard to change and adapt to new ways when you feel your ways are the best. It's hard to do what someone else wants you to do when you feel like you have a better method. After all, why would you ever do something that didn't make perfect sense to you, right? We all do things certain ways because we think it's the best way, the right way, and maybe even the only way. I came from a great work environment where we did things the "ASB-Way." I really liked the ASB-Way. I preached it, I taught it, I helped implement it, and I lived it out. I really felt like it was the best way. But I'm not at ASB anymore. In fact, ASB doesn't even exist anymore. And so I must give up some of my ways to learn new ways. I want to share my ways, I want to prove how those ways are really excellent ways, I want to keep on practicing those certain ways that have been ingrained into my brain, but those ways must go. Those ways are ways of the past and I'm in a new place. And so I think that's the real struggle right there. Giving up my old ways and adapting to new ways. But new ways aren't always bad ways, and in fact, I've come to see that there actually are some better ways out there!
I've got a lot of changes ahead of me. There are a lot of ways I'm going to have to change, give up, and even adapt to. Some ways I don't want to let go of, and some ways I'm glad to be free of. But either way, I'm going to have to keep on moving forward, keep on growing, and keep on learning. And when I begin to feel overwhelmed and completely worn out by all of this way changing, I just think about how grateful I am that God is unchanging. I'm grateful that He is the same, that His ways are consistent, and that they are always trustworthy and right. In a constantly changing environment, I'm so thankful that He is simply constant. And I'm grateful that although He stays the same, He is always there to help us get through whatever changes life may bring our way.
#356 - Because He is our constant who will help us through the constant changes we face!
"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow." - James 1:17
I decided to give myself the night off. I was so spent by the time I made it home I seriously considered whether or not I wanted to even expend the energy to eat dinner. After an hour and a half of lying around in my work clothes, I finally forced myself to get up and put on sweatpants. I decided since I was already up and moving, I would just heat up some leftovers before planting myself on the couch for the night. I have a lot to get accomplished. I'm not usually a procrastinator, but I definitely put everything on hold tonight. I sat my living room and treated myself to some TLC wedding shows as I painted my fingernails. It was nice. It was just what I needed, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about mindlessly watching competing brides rank one another's weddings.
I love nights like these. Nights where you don't even have to think. Because I've had to do a lot of thinking this week. More than that, I've had to do a lot of adjusting and I'm coming to realize that I am not quite as resilient as I thought I was. And as good as change can be, as desired and wanted as it can be, it can also be really tiring. My schedule has changed, and my mindset has been forced to change. I've had to re-route some of my thought processes and get used to new things. And here's the thing that I've come to see, it's really hard to change and adapt to new ways when you feel your ways are the best. It's hard to do what someone else wants you to do when you feel like you have a better method. After all, why would you ever do something that didn't make perfect sense to you, right? We all do things certain ways because we think it's the best way, the right way, and maybe even the only way. I came from a great work environment where we did things the "ASB-Way." I really liked the ASB-Way. I preached it, I taught it, I helped implement it, and I lived it out. I really felt like it was the best way. But I'm not at ASB anymore. In fact, ASB doesn't even exist anymore. And so I must give up some of my ways to learn new ways. I want to share my ways, I want to prove how those ways are really excellent ways, I want to keep on practicing those certain ways that have been ingrained into my brain, but those ways must go. Those ways are ways of the past and I'm in a new place. And so I think that's the real struggle right there. Giving up my old ways and adapting to new ways. But new ways aren't always bad ways, and in fact, I've come to see that there actually are some better ways out there!
I've got a lot of changes ahead of me. There are a lot of ways I'm going to have to change, give up, and even adapt to. Some ways I don't want to let go of, and some ways I'm glad to be free of. But either way, I'm going to have to keep on moving forward, keep on growing, and keep on learning. And when I begin to feel overwhelmed and completely worn out by all of this way changing, I just think about how grateful I am that God is unchanging. I'm grateful that He is the same, that His ways are consistent, and that they are always trustworthy and right. In a constantly changing environment, I'm so thankful that He is simply constant. And I'm grateful that although He stays the same, He is always there to help us get through whatever changes life may bring our way.
#356 - Because He is our constant who will help us through the constant changes we face!
"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow." - James 1:17