Reason #427
March and I are developing a love/hate relationship. While March is usually my favorite month, it has proven itself to be a difficult month for me. I think I’ve spent more days feeling stressed and overwhelmed than not. I’ve reverted to my worrying and fretting ways, so I’ve had to remind myself that worry is basically proof that I’m not trusting God. Fellowship with the Lord is sweet. To be in His presence, walking closely beside Him, is incredible. Because even though you feel like you’re in the middle of the storm, everything seems strangely calm. You can see it swirling around you, but you know you’ll be okay.
Even still, it’s hard. Even when you know everything is eventually going to be alright, that doesn’t make it any easier. I fall victim to thinking that I have to keep a stiff upper lip during trying moments. I can’t be obviously sad or show anyone that I’m worried. If I do that, I’ll look weak. But the truth is, I am weak. Frail and fragile as they come. When I’m just dealing with myself, it’s fine. When it’s happening to me, I can be strong. Because when it’s you, you have no choice. Well, I take that back. You do have a choice, and I’ve always chosen to just be strong. Yet there are times when things happen that you simply don’t like. Things happen that you’d like to change. And, if you could, you’d put yourself there. You’d step in the situation and take over, absorb the pain, assume the heartache, because it’s just easier to cope with things when they are happening to you… at least it is for me. I can’t handle being a spectator.
God is teaching me about love in its different forms. I go through trying situations and I see love in a new form. Love isn’t easy. Love leads to pain, it’s inevitable. Maybe not intentional pain, not physical hurt, but heavy-heart, achy "love pains." When you love some one a whole, whole lot, it can hurt because you care so much. You want the best for them, would do anything in the world for them, and you want life to be fair and good to them.
That's what love did though. Love stepped in and took our place. Love looked at our situation and said, "I care too much about you to let you endure this. I'm going to assume your pain and humiliation, feel the hurt and shame. I am going to take on your punishment. I am going to do this for you because I love you that much. I'll go through it because there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." And, so even though it was ours to go through, love hung on a cross so that we didn't have to.
I'm thankful to be loved like that. Thankful for what He did, for stepping in and bearing it all on my behalf. For losing His life so that mine would be saved. I'm thankful that love doesn't stop to consider the cost, the pain, the hurt, the humiliation, or the "fairness" in it all but that love steps up and acts in my favor every single time.
#427 - Because Love stepped in and took my place.
"Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:7-8