Reason #514
Today was crazy. The craziest day I've had in a long time. Work goes in spurts for me, and lately it has been a lot of busy spurts. And so from the moment I got there to the moment I left, I had zero down time. My brain was hurting by 5:00 and I worked as quickly as I could so that I could leave at closing time. Aaron and I had our parents over for dinner tonight to celebrate a late Father's Day. Remember, I love to celebrate anything so I am all about family dinners. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, flag day, any time to get together and have food is a good time to me. I grabbed two pizzas on the way home from work, and I was thankful that it was only our parents coming over so we could use paper plates and I could wear sweat pants.
By 6:30 dinner was on the table and we were ready to eat. A simple meal, but a really good one, thanks to Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza. Kind of homemade but not really. And we ate and we talked and we ate some more. Scout made her rounds so that everyone had the opportunity to hold her. The rain began to fall outside, and I just felt really blessed. Thankful to be sharing a meal with both of our parents in what is now our home.
You just never know how the whole "in-laws" thing is going to work itself out. It's one of those uncertainties you try to figure out before marriage but there's really no way to do that until you've actually got real in-laws. And so every bride and groom gets a little anxious about this one, right? It becomes especially tricky when you live in the same town as both of your families. How will you divide your time? How much time is too much time? How much is not enough? How do you split holidays and special occasions? Truthfully, it seems as if living out of town makes the lines a bit more clear. You've got your block of time that you spend with one family and a block with the other. Aside from that, you don't have to worry about wearing out your welcome. And so Aaron and I talked a bit through this before marriage but decided it would probably be easiest if we just played it by ear.
I won't lie, I was a little wary of how things would play out relationship wise, too. There are countless "in-law" horror stories and jokes, and truth be told, our generation is full of parents who've had one heck of a time cutting that umbilical cord. Parents can make or break you. I've come to see this play out in a lot of different forms. Our world is full of adults who are still far too dependent on mom and dad. Parents who are continuing to control and provide for their kids rather than forcing them out of the nest and requiring them to become actual grown ups. Parents who have enabled their kids to be selfish, spoiled, and immature for far too long. Women who look to their fathers for help rather than their husbands and men who let their moms call the shot rather than placing their wives as a priority. And so the forces begin to push at one another. Tensions rise, resistance forms, clashes begin and before long everyone is merely pretending to enjoy one another's presence. Holidays and special occasions happen because they "have to" and smiles are faked until the evening has passed and everyone goes their separate ways dreading the next time a get together is scheduled.
That's not family. That's not what family looks like, either. And yet this is the case for far too many people. I've been a part of many of those conversations where venting took place because boundaries were constantly overstepped. Where wives felt pressured by overbearing mother-in-laws and husbands felt inadequate by save-the-day father-in-laws. And in the end, no one wins. In the end, no one is happy. And in the end, family seems more like a burden than a blessing.
And so this is why I felt so blessed tonight. I was really excited to have my parents and my in-laws over for dinner. I enjoy being around all of them, and I sincerely mean it. I've never once had to pretend to want to see either one of them, and I find myself eagerly looking forward to any occasion to spend time together. Because we do have parents who are willing to help but not willing to take over. Parents who have encouraged us to be adults and loved us in that direction. Parents who, although I'm sure would like to tell us what to do and how to do it every now and then, support us and let us make our own decisions. Parents who respect us and expect us to be responsible, mature adults. Parents who have been there, done that, and understand that what's most important is that Aaron and I become our own family rather than being their little puppets on strings.
And so maybe some people think having family around is too much to handle. Maybe some people don't believe that having both sets of parents living in the same town is really that great. But I'd beg to differ. Because there's something really unique about having a close relationship with your parents when you're no longer a child but an adult. And family is irreplaceable. They are the ones who, in the end, are there when you need them. The ones who always have been. The ones you can always trust and the ones who have your best interest at heart. And although we've got some time before we cross this bridge, we know full well that parents are the best (free) babysitters you can come by!
#514 - For parents who understand boundaries, actually practice them, and are a complete joy to be around!
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Mark 10:7-9
By 6:30 dinner was on the table and we were ready to eat. A simple meal, but a really good one, thanks to Papa Murphy's take and bake pizza. Kind of homemade but not really. And we ate and we talked and we ate some more. Scout made her rounds so that everyone had the opportunity to hold her. The rain began to fall outside, and I just felt really blessed. Thankful to be sharing a meal with both of our parents in what is now our home.
You just never know how the whole "in-laws" thing is going to work itself out. It's one of those uncertainties you try to figure out before marriage but there's really no way to do that until you've actually got real in-laws. And so every bride and groom gets a little anxious about this one, right? It becomes especially tricky when you live in the same town as both of your families. How will you divide your time? How much time is too much time? How much is not enough? How do you split holidays and special occasions? Truthfully, it seems as if living out of town makes the lines a bit more clear. You've got your block of time that you spend with one family and a block with the other. Aside from that, you don't have to worry about wearing out your welcome. And so Aaron and I talked a bit through this before marriage but decided it would probably be easiest if we just played it by ear.
I won't lie, I was a little wary of how things would play out relationship wise, too. There are countless "in-law" horror stories and jokes, and truth be told, our generation is full of parents who've had one heck of a time cutting that umbilical cord. Parents can make or break you. I've come to see this play out in a lot of different forms. Our world is full of adults who are still far too dependent on mom and dad. Parents who are continuing to control and provide for their kids rather than forcing them out of the nest and requiring them to become actual grown ups. Parents who have enabled their kids to be selfish, spoiled, and immature for far too long. Women who look to their fathers for help rather than their husbands and men who let their moms call the shot rather than placing their wives as a priority. And so the forces begin to push at one another. Tensions rise, resistance forms, clashes begin and before long everyone is merely pretending to enjoy one another's presence. Holidays and special occasions happen because they "have to" and smiles are faked until the evening has passed and everyone goes their separate ways dreading the next time a get together is scheduled.
That's not family. That's not what family looks like, either. And yet this is the case for far too many people. I've been a part of many of those conversations where venting took place because boundaries were constantly overstepped. Where wives felt pressured by overbearing mother-in-laws and husbands felt inadequate by save-the-day father-in-laws. And in the end, no one wins. In the end, no one is happy. And in the end, family seems more like a burden than a blessing.
And so this is why I felt so blessed tonight. I was really excited to have my parents and my in-laws over for dinner. I enjoy being around all of them, and I sincerely mean it. I've never once had to pretend to want to see either one of them, and I find myself eagerly looking forward to any occasion to spend time together. Because we do have parents who are willing to help but not willing to take over. Parents who have encouraged us to be adults and loved us in that direction. Parents who, although I'm sure would like to tell us what to do and how to do it every now and then, support us and let us make our own decisions. Parents who respect us and expect us to be responsible, mature adults. Parents who have been there, done that, and understand that what's most important is that Aaron and I become our own family rather than being their little puppets on strings.
And so maybe some people think having family around is too much to handle. Maybe some people don't believe that having both sets of parents living in the same town is really that great. But I'd beg to differ. Because there's something really unique about having a close relationship with your parents when you're no longer a child but an adult. And family is irreplaceable. They are the ones who, in the end, are there when you need them. The ones who always have been. The ones you can always trust and the ones who have your best interest at heart. And although we've got some time before we cross this bridge, we know full well that parents are the best (free) babysitters you can come by!
#514 - For parents who understand boundaries, actually practice them, and are a complete joy to be around!
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Mark 10:7-9
(The fam... I think it's pretty easy to tell who belongs to who...)