Reason #574
Aaron and I sat down tonight to look at our budget. I am a numbers driven girl, and I like to set goals based on numbers. I have this magical number in my head that I'd like to reach, well, let's be honest, before we start a family. At the rate things are going right now, our first child is scheduled to arrive in 2023. Either that or I need to get a higher paying job since my annual contribution is quite low. Anyway, we've been meaning to do this since April so we finally made a point to sit down and put numbers to paper. Of course, we had no idea how much we were spending each month because who needs to count when you can just swipe your card, right? And although we've managed to stay in the black, we also had no clue if we were really coming out ahead or simply breaking even.
Well, I'll say that I was pretty surprised at how much it costs us to be us each month. We both were. But what continued to amazed me was the fact that I somehow managed to make it on my piddley little salary for two years. How in the world, right? God's provision, that's how. Well, anyway, the whole purpose of looking at our budget was to see where we could give. To see how we could give. Because, as I've mentioned before, while reading Radical, were challenged to not just give what is required but to give excess. And while that idea seemed completely tangible and realistic at the time, it's really hard to think that way when you see your own dreams being put on hold. Truthfully, I'd rather fund my own desires so sometimes it's hard not to ask for a little more so that I can do both (which we all know wouldn't be the outcome, anyway).
Aaron shared with me about a sermon he listened to at lunch today. The pastor (John Piper) spoke about King David's prayer after that whole Bathsheba debacle. David asked for the Lord to restore his joy and gladness. He asked that God blot out his transgressions and cleanse him from unrighteousness. He asks that God surround him with His presence, give Him a willing and renewed spirit, and a pure heart. And the pastor pointed out that we never see David asking God to take away lust from Him. We never see Him pleading that the Lord would remove selfishness from his life so that he wouldn't fall into temptation again. No, he asks God to give Him the very things of God. He asks God to give him more of God. Because David realized that if He had more of God, he wouldn't want the things of this world. He realized that if God's desires were filling Him, there would be no room for sinful desires. That if God was the one he surrounded himself with, there would be no need to surround himself with anything else. Because when we ask God for more of God, we realize that we don't need anything else.
I don't know about you, but I've never thought to ask for that. I ask God for things all of the time. Give me more of this or more of that. Give me patience, give me endurance, give me understanding, give me wisdom. Give me peace, provision, protection, determination. Give me strength, joy, comfort, worth. But I never ask for more of Him. Give me more of you, God. More of your spirit so that I don't need anything else. Fill me to the brim so that there's no room or desire for other things. Give me the things of above, the things of you, so that I can truly have what I need. Because when God gives us more of Him, like King David, we realize we don't need to ask for the things we thought we needed because they are no longer an issue. We have exactly what we need, and that's way more than we could ever want.
#574 - For a God who gives us more of Himself so that we don't have to seek out things to try and fill our lives.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." - Psalm 51:10-12
Well, I'll say that I was pretty surprised at how much it costs us to be us each month. We both were. But what continued to amazed me was the fact that I somehow managed to make it on my piddley little salary for two years. How in the world, right? God's provision, that's how. Well, anyway, the whole purpose of looking at our budget was to see where we could give. To see how we could give. Because, as I've mentioned before, while reading Radical, were challenged to not just give what is required but to give excess. And while that idea seemed completely tangible and realistic at the time, it's really hard to think that way when you see your own dreams being put on hold. Truthfully, I'd rather fund my own desires so sometimes it's hard not to ask for a little more so that I can do both (which we all know wouldn't be the outcome, anyway).
Aaron shared with me about a sermon he listened to at lunch today. The pastor (John Piper) spoke about King David's prayer after that whole Bathsheba debacle. David asked for the Lord to restore his joy and gladness. He asked that God blot out his transgressions and cleanse him from unrighteousness. He asks that God surround him with His presence, give Him a willing and renewed spirit, and a pure heart. And the pastor pointed out that we never see David asking God to take away lust from Him. We never see Him pleading that the Lord would remove selfishness from his life so that he wouldn't fall into temptation again. No, he asks God to give Him the very things of God. He asks God to give him more of God. Because David realized that if He had more of God, he wouldn't want the things of this world. He realized that if God's desires were filling Him, there would be no room for sinful desires. That if God was the one he surrounded himself with, there would be no need to surround himself with anything else. Because when we ask God for more of God, we realize that we don't need anything else.
I don't know about you, but I've never thought to ask for that. I ask God for things all of the time. Give me more of this or more of that. Give me patience, give me endurance, give me understanding, give me wisdom. Give me peace, provision, protection, determination. Give me strength, joy, comfort, worth. But I never ask for more of Him. Give me more of you, God. More of your spirit so that I don't need anything else. Fill me to the brim so that there's no room or desire for other things. Give me the things of above, the things of you, so that I can truly have what I need. Because when God gives us more of Him, like King David, we realize we don't need to ask for the things we thought we needed because they are no longer an issue. We have exactly what we need, and that's way more than we could ever want.
#574 - For a God who gives us more of Himself so that we don't have to seek out things to try and fill our lives.
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." - Psalm 51:10-12