Reason #580
It was Columbus Day, two years ago. I woke up that morning feeling sick and desperate. I was in serious need of help. I could barely get myself out of bed and was a complete wreck. Thankfully, I had the day off from work. I called my dad and asked him to help me out. I needed him to drive me around town to find a counselor. I had never looked for a counselor before, and I didn't know where to start. I was pressed for time. A friend gave me a suggestion, which didn't work out. We drove downtown to my home church, and I went inside hoping there would be someone there I could talk to. It just so happened that none of the pastors were there that day, and so I hoped the secretary could point me to someone who could help. She said there wasn't anyone at the church I could talk to, but she recommended a particular counseling center. My dad and I walked back to the car, and I called the number she gave me. With desperation in my voice, I asked if there was any possible way I could make an appointment. The receptionist looked at the calendar and said, "There was actually a cancellation tonight. Would you be able to come that soon?" Absolutely, I would. I wished it would have been sooner, but the timing was perfect and for a brief moment I felt peace.
A lot of people don't like to talk about counseling, much less admit that they have gone or would go. Because for some reason we've shamed those who seek out help. Yet if you had heart problems, would you be embarrassed to take heart medication? If you had issues with your blood pressure, would you refuse to take blood pressure medication? No, you wouldn't. And every month you'd go get your prescription filled so that you could be healthy and live life. Well, emotional, mental, and spiritual health are every bit as important as physical health, so there is no need to run from a cure. Truth be told, everyone has something in their lives they need to work out at one point or another, and what's wrong with seeking wisdom and help from a listening ear? If you ask me, the people who really have a problem are those who refuse to do anything about their issues, thus creating even bigger, deeper, longer lasting ones.
Well, I remember walking into the counseling office. It was hot and stuffy, and the lights were dim. I sat down on Dr. Mark's couch and for a moment, I told myself everything was going to be alright. This was going to be the game changer, this was going to fix everything. The Lord had opened the door just when I needed, and I trusted it was for a reason. Counseling didn't go quite like I thought it would. Yet Dr. Mark listened intently and fairly, only commenting when there was silence. He didn't interrupt or correct. He patiently waiting for the opportunity to counsel and then he spoke words of wisdom. It wasn't anything ground breaking, by any means. It wasn't anything surprising to me, either. But there was just something about his countenance that calmed me. Something that told me everything was going to be alright. And at the end of the session, Dr. Mark prayed. I trusted that he was going to get me through this. I trusted his advice and his help. I trusted that he would change things. And I knew that by seeking a Godly counselor, things couldn't possibly go wrong.
I would go through dark days. Days where I had a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Because it seemed like the further I went down this tunnel, the darker it got. And like most people who deal with depression or severe despondency, I didn't always see that I needed help. But I'd come to a breaking point, and my mom would gently encourage me to schedule an appointment with Dr. Mark. I would, and I would always feel better when I left. I wouldn't say Dr. Mark re-routed me or helped me become a completely different person, but he told me things that I didn't expect to hear. Every time I shared a thought or feeling with him, he knew just what to say. It always made sense, too. It wasn't like he was just shooting in the dark hoping to give me a good response. Dr. Mark had a way of helping me look at the whole situation through a different lens, and he always reminded me to have hope.
After a few months of counseling sessions, I sat in my final one. I've blogged about this before, so there's no need to re-cap now, but I remember that Dr. Mark looked at my with the most sympathetic eyes, because I think he so desperately wanted things to go differently, too. He had seen my heart breaking for months now. He watched me lose 15 pounds. He saw the exhaustion in my eyes each time I went by for a session. This complete stranger knew the toll life was taking on me, and I think he whole heartedly wished he could have fixed it, too. But I'll never forget the last night I sat in his office. He apologized so sincerely, and he said, "Brittnye, I don't know what else to do for you. Despite the circumstances, you are doing so well. Truthfully, I am surprised by how well you are doing."
Dr. Mark came into the bank again today. He comes in every now and then. This time, he was in my office seeking my help. And every time I see him I just want to give him a big hug. I want to have a few minutes to tell him how things have gone since that last counseling session. I don't know if I'll ever get the opportunity to, but I like to think that he can tell. I think he sees a difference, and I hope it encourages him. Because how amazing is it to not only watch someone walk through the valley but then get to follow up with them and see them on the mountain top, especially when you played a role in that journey?
I know I'm giving Dr. Mark a lot of credit here. He helped immensely, but you know what helped the most? Prayer. Because I not only sought out wise, Godly counsel, I pleaded for prayer. Friends, family, friends of family. People I didn't even know were praying for me. People I didn't have a personal relationship with were lifting me up, and it was obvious. Because even Dr. Mark realized there was more going on in my life than what he was capable of bringing about, and that right there is a testimony to the power of prayer and the power of our God. Because He is our counselor. When we can't see straight, we it's dark, when we are losing hope, and we don't see a way out, He does. And He guides us the whole time. Opening doors to lead us to victory and closing doors to keep us from harm.
I shared this story with one of my co-workers today. I don't talk about it as often anymore because I have too many good things to share that I don't feel the need to give much attention to the past, but I just wanted her to know. She listened to the whole thing and then she said, "and just look where you are now!" That's right, sister. The Lord knew full well I needed every one of those sessions to sit on that leather couch and pour out my heart. He opened that door so obviously, just for different reasons. Funny that I would go to marriage counseling by myself in an attempt to fight for and save a marriage that was going to crash and burn, only to be prepared for a beautiful marriage that I never imagined I'd have. Funny that He'd use those sessions not only to heal me, but to prepare me for spending the rest of my days with the love of my life. But that's just how our God works. He knows and He sees and no plan of His is ever pointless. And so no matter what we going through, even if it seems like one failed attempt after another, it's really not. It's just preparation for what's to come, for what incredible and unimaginable He will do next.
#580 - Because He uses the trials to prepare us for the blessings - the incredible, unimaginable blessings!
"I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." - Psalm 94:18-19
A lot of people don't like to talk about counseling, much less admit that they have gone or would go. Because for some reason we've shamed those who seek out help. Yet if you had heart problems, would you be embarrassed to take heart medication? If you had issues with your blood pressure, would you refuse to take blood pressure medication? No, you wouldn't. And every month you'd go get your prescription filled so that you could be healthy and live life. Well, emotional, mental, and spiritual health are every bit as important as physical health, so there is no need to run from a cure. Truth be told, everyone has something in their lives they need to work out at one point or another, and what's wrong with seeking wisdom and help from a listening ear? If you ask me, the people who really have a problem are those who refuse to do anything about their issues, thus creating even bigger, deeper, longer lasting ones.
Well, I remember walking into the counseling office. It was hot and stuffy, and the lights were dim. I sat down on Dr. Mark's couch and for a moment, I told myself everything was going to be alright. This was going to be the game changer, this was going to fix everything. The Lord had opened the door just when I needed, and I trusted it was for a reason. Counseling didn't go quite like I thought it would. Yet Dr. Mark listened intently and fairly, only commenting when there was silence. He didn't interrupt or correct. He patiently waiting for the opportunity to counsel and then he spoke words of wisdom. It wasn't anything ground breaking, by any means. It wasn't anything surprising to me, either. But there was just something about his countenance that calmed me. Something that told me everything was going to be alright. And at the end of the session, Dr. Mark prayed. I trusted that he was going to get me through this. I trusted his advice and his help. I trusted that he would change things. And I knew that by seeking a Godly counselor, things couldn't possibly go wrong.
I would go through dark days. Days where I had a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Because it seemed like the further I went down this tunnel, the darker it got. And like most people who deal with depression or severe despondency, I didn't always see that I needed help. But I'd come to a breaking point, and my mom would gently encourage me to schedule an appointment with Dr. Mark. I would, and I would always feel better when I left. I wouldn't say Dr. Mark re-routed me or helped me become a completely different person, but he told me things that I didn't expect to hear. Every time I shared a thought or feeling with him, he knew just what to say. It always made sense, too. It wasn't like he was just shooting in the dark hoping to give me a good response. Dr. Mark had a way of helping me look at the whole situation through a different lens, and he always reminded me to have hope.
After a few months of counseling sessions, I sat in my final one. I've blogged about this before, so there's no need to re-cap now, but I remember that Dr. Mark looked at my with the most sympathetic eyes, because I think he so desperately wanted things to go differently, too. He had seen my heart breaking for months now. He watched me lose 15 pounds. He saw the exhaustion in my eyes each time I went by for a session. This complete stranger knew the toll life was taking on me, and I think he whole heartedly wished he could have fixed it, too. But I'll never forget the last night I sat in his office. He apologized so sincerely, and he said, "Brittnye, I don't know what else to do for you. Despite the circumstances, you are doing so well. Truthfully, I am surprised by how well you are doing."
Dr. Mark came into the bank again today. He comes in every now and then. This time, he was in my office seeking my help. And every time I see him I just want to give him a big hug. I want to have a few minutes to tell him how things have gone since that last counseling session. I don't know if I'll ever get the opportunity to, but I like to think that he can tell. I think he sees a difference, and I hope it encourages him. Because how amazing is it to not only watch someone walk through the valley but then get to follow up with them and see them on the mountain top, especially when you played a role in that journey?
I know I'm giving Dr. Mark a lot of credit here. He helped immensely, but you know what helped the most? Prayer. Because I not only sought out wise, Godly counsel, I pleaded for prayer. Friends, family, friends of family. People I didn't even know were praying for me. People I didn't have a personal relationship with were lifting me up, and it was obvious. Because even Dr. Mark realized there was more going on in my life than what he was capable of bringing about, and that right there is a testimony to the power of prayer and the power of our God. Because He is our counselor. When we can't see straight, we it's dark, when we are losing hope, and we don't see a way out, He does. And He guides us the whole time. Opening doors to lead us to victory and closing doors to keep us from harm.
I shared this story with one of my co-workers today. I don't talk about it as often anymore because I have too many good things to share that I don't feel the need to give much attention to the past, but I just wanted her to know. She listened to the whole thing and then she said, "and just look where you are now!" That's right, sister. The Lord knew full well I needed every one of those sessions to sit on that leather couch and pour out my heart. He opened that door so obviously, just for different reasons. Funny that I would go to marriage counseling by myself in an attempt to fight for and save a marriage that was going to crash and burn, only to be prepared for a beautiful marriage that I never imagined I'd have. Funny that He'd use those sessions not only to heal me, but to prepare me for spending the rest of my days with the love of my life. But that's just how our God works. He knows and He sees and no plan of His is ever pointless. And so no matter what we going through, even if it seems like one failed attempt after another, it's really not. It's just preparation for what's to come, for what incredible and unimaginable He will do next.
#580 - Because He uses the trials to prepare us for the blessings - the incredible, unimaginable blessings!
"I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." - Psalm 94:18-19