Reason #719
Last week, I talked about how marriage really opens ones eyes to one of the many ways God loves us. It's kind of hard to understand the whole groom/bride marriage/intimacy thing if you've never been there. Much like parenthood, right? You only think you know and then it hits and you realize you were completely wrong. Anyway, marriage is such a learning experience, and it's not always the easiest teacher, if I must say so. It's a challenge, a conscious effort, and it takes a lot of strong willed determination. After all, if marriage was so easy, the divorce rate wouldn't exist.
They say it's important to talk about your thoughts on divorce before you marry someone. These days, that's a wise piece of advice. But you know, in a way, it really shouldn't even be a topic of discussion. Personally, I think it should go without saying, you know, be an understood thing that you're getting married to stay married. The option of leaving shouldn't even take up a speck of space in your mind, and if does, you don't need to get married...ever. If you aren't in it for the long haul, do yourself and that person a favor and just let them know. They'll get over it, and it'll be easier that way. Plus, that kind of stuff always gives you some humiliating yet important wisdom and they'll be better off for it. And if, in the back of your mind, you've allowed the option of leaving a speck of space, just be honest and say so. Let them know your real thoughts about commitment, and then give them the option to take the risk or not.
This is why I appreciate my husband so. I never asked him if he thought divorce was okay because simply by talking to him, it was obvious he was a man of integrity and character. Before he even volunteered that information, I knew what he would say. "When you said "I do," you did." That's how he summed it up. A once and for all event, and I didn't for once think he didn't whole heartedly mean it. I agreed with him, which would look funny from the outside. One who doesn't support the splitting of vowed souls had, herself, fallen into that category. But I think it was obvious to him that I felt the same way he did. And so we didn't talk about divorce because we both knew the only way we were getting out of our vows was through death.
Death seems like such a drastic measure, doesn't it? But I really think God planned it out that way because He knew how much work the marriage relationship would be. He knew that it would face hardship, struggles, disagreements, hurt feelings, arguments, and all sorts of challenges. And, if you were given the choice to either die or work out your disagreement, which would you pick? If you had to pick losing your life or settling your differences, I think I know what you'd choose. At least, that's the way I see it. And so understanding this, living it out on earth, deepens my gratitude towards God in an incredible way.
See, the thing is, He died so that He could maintain a relationship with us rather than lose a relationship with us. And really, in marriage, things do have to die so that you can have a beautiful relationship. Stubborn ways, selfishness, pride, jealousy, anger, resentment, bitterness, impatience, hard headedness, ungratefulness, complaining, cutting words, and defiance are just a few of the things we must try to do away with. Things that don't bring life or joy but rather bring death, and not the good kind. And so I think society has gotten it all wrong. We've put to death what's beautiful so that darkness can thrive rather than killing the darkness to that beauty can survive.
And so I am grateful for a husband who said "I do" and really did. And I am grateful for a God who feels the same way. For a God who isn't going anywhere no matter how frustrating, difficult, and imperfect we are. No, He's sticking around because He said He would, and I'm forever grateful that He will never change His mind.
#719 - Because when He makes a promise, He doesn't change His mind.
"For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” - Hebrews 13:5
They say it's important to talk about your thoughts on divorce before you marry someone. These days, that's a wise piece of advice. But you know, in a way, it really shouldn't even be a topic of discussion. Personally, I think it should go without saying, you know, be an understood thing that you're getting married to stay married. The option of leaving shouldn't even take up a speck of space in your mind, and if does, you don't need to get married...ever. If you aren't in it for the long haul, do yourself and that person a favor and just let them know. They'll get over it, and it'll be easier that way. Plus, that kind of stuff always gives you some humiliating yet important wisdom and they'll be better off for it. And if, in the back of your mind, you've allowed the option of leaving a speck of space, just be honest and say so. Let them know your real thoughts about commitment, and then give them the option to take the risk or not.
This is why I appreciate my husband so. I never asked him if he thought divorce was okay because simply by talking to him, it was obvious he was a man of integrity and character. Before he even volunteered that information, I knew what he would say. "When you said "I do," you did." That's how he summed it up. A once and for all event, and I didn't for once think he didn't whole heartedly mean it. I agreed with him, which would look funny from the outside. One who doesn't support the splitting of vowed souls had, herself, fallen into that category. But I think it was obvious to him that I felt the same way he did. And so we didn't talk about divorce because we both knew the only way we were getting out of our vows was through death.
Death seems like such a drastic measure, doesn't it? But I really think God planned it out that way because He knew how much work the marriage relationship would be. He knew that it would face hardship, struggles, disagreements, hurt feelings, arguments, and all sorts of challenges. And, if you were given the choice to either die or work out your disagreement, which would you pick? If you had to pick losing your life or settling your differences, I think I know what you'd choose. At least, that's the way I see it. And so understanding this, living it out on earth, deepens my gratitude towards God in an incredible way.
See, the thing is, He died so that He could maintain a relationship with us rather than lose a relationship with us. And really, in marriage, things do have to die so that you can have a beautiful relationship. Stubborn ways, selfishness, pride, jealousy, anger, resentment, bitterness, impatience, hard headedness, ungratefulness, complaining, cutting words, and defiance are just a few of the things we must try to do away with. Things that don't bring life or joy but rather bring death, and not the good kind. And so I think society has gotten it all wrong. We've put to death what's beautiful so that darkness can thrive rather than killing the darkness to that beauty can survive.
And so I am grateful for a husband who said "I do" and really did. And I am grateful for a God who feels the same way. For a God who isn't going anywhere no matter how frustrating, difficult, and imperfect we are. No, He's sticking around because He said He would, and I'm forever grateful that He will never change His mind.
#719 - Because when He makes a promise, He doesn't change His mind.
"For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” - Hebrews 13:5