Reason #747
This month has been a month of realization for me. For one, I’m finally catching on that it’s 2014. I think I’ve stopped writing 2013 after the date…for the most part. I also realized that I am half way through being 26, which blows my mind. I think age starts to get to me when I think about having kids. A large majority of my friends have at least one child now. I feel too young to be a parent, but growing up, I always thought I’d have a couple of kids by 27. Oh well, people are living longer these days so I am sure I have plenty of time to mark that off the list. Today is mine and Aaron’s ninth monthiversary. We are almost to a year, which is also very hard to believe. In some ways, it feels like we’ve been married much longer than we have, and in some ways it feels like we were just planning our wedding. In fact, it was this time last year that all the pieces of the wedding planning were falling into place. A little part of me kind of mourns that, however. I suppose it’s kind of the same feeling of watching your kids grow up. You get to go forward and experience new stages with them, but you never get to go back to the start.
I remember getting to meet our wedding photographer for the first time last February. My mom and I had breakfast with her at this shady little place in Cisco, Texas. It was the only place to eat there, so we bit the bullet and tried not to think about how smoky the restaurant was or how greasy the food was. And it was this time last year that my mom and I had President’s Day off to run wedding errands. We spend the day gathering decorations and putting down deposits. And I’ll be honest and say that I felt odd. It was a strange feeling because, well, I had done this before. And so I felt like a fraud. I felt like I was lying to these people who were giving me endless wedding advice. I knew what I wanted not because I was hard-headed but because I had been through this before, and I knew what worked best. No one plans on having two weddings, but the benefit, if you want to try and find one, is that you have a better idea of what to concern yourself with and what to not worry about. And a part of me grieved that this was my second time to do this because I so desperate wanted to share all of those “firsts” with Aaron. I wanted to get married in my home church, have a hometown shower, and put a big write-up and announcement in the newspaper as if that had never happened before. The truth was, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t act as if this had never happened to me before. And so I scaled it back as much as possible because I realized those things don’t make a wedding. Sure, they’re exciting, but I knew what was important and so I focused on that. I focused on worrying about getting married rather than planning a wedding, and I have to say that after all was said and done, I thought that Aaron and I had the most perfect and beautiful wedding I had ever been to.
I blogged a few weeks ago about wedding planning. You see, the wedding is just the start. It is a short, little, joyful intro into the most incredible, challenging, and exciting adventure any person could willingly embark on. Because weddings are fun and marriage is, too. But weddings are a one time event and marriage happens every day. The wedding day comes after months of planning, and it’s over so quickly. After that, you spend the rest of your days together working and trying, failing and succeeding. The wedding is just the announcement that you’re becoming one. The marriage is where you actually learn how to do that. It’s not a magical process by any means. It doesn’t just happen once you start sharing the same last name. No, the wedding, even in the midst of all the planning stress and anxiety, is actually the easy part. Marriage is where life happens, where it all unfolds.
So nine months in, and we certainly don’t know everything. We’ve made some serious headway because we both desire unity. Probably, one of our biggest down falls is that we’re wishing to be a 30 year couple, and well, we haven’t even made it to a year yet. But I understand the benefit and meaning or one-ness, as does Aaron, and that’s what we want to achieve. And so for nine months, we’ve pushed towards that. For nine months, we’ve overcome obstacles, our pasts, our differences, and our short comings, and we’ve learned a lot about one another and about ourselves. And I realize that this, my friends, is a first. Because this is a love I have never known until now. This is a love I had never experienced until May 10, 2013. And I wouldn’t go back and change a thing. If you ask me, our wedding, perfect and beautiful in my opinion, set the standard for a beautiful start as the Davis’. Sure, maybe I’m looking through a different lens, or maybe it’s just because I have grown to love Aaron in a way that I never fathomed. In Paul’s words, it really is a profound mystery.
Three quarters of the way through our first year, and it has been amazing. I don’t say these things to try and convince myself or anyone else otherwise. If it weren’t the truth, I wouldn’t blog about it. And so I know this is just the beginning. I know we’ve got a long ways to go and a lot of unchartered territory to cover. But we can do it, no doubt. We can get through anything together because that’s what we said we were going to do. That’s what we promised, and that’s what we’ve been living out as best as we possibly can. So thank you, Aaron, for 9 wonderful months. Thank you for showing me a love I didn’t know was possible, and for loving me in a way I’ve never felt before. I still can’t believe you’re my husband. I still can’t believe I have your last name, either. Most of all, I still can’t believe you’re mine until the end. Nine months down, a few hundred more to go, and I am so grateful I get to spend every single one of them with you!
#747 - For 9 amazing months!
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church." - Ephesians 5:31-32