Reason #756
Some days, I am a really bad wife. It's true. And some days, I'm a bad pet-mom. In fact, at 5:00AM today, I was not a very good pet-mom. Some days I am really impatient. Actually, that it's more like most days. And there are times when I say things I shouldn't, behave in ways that are irrational, have thoughts that are less than pleasant, and an attitude that is overdramatic. Some days, I am a train wreck.
I always feel like I'm catching on to myself after the fact. For example, at 5:00AM this morning, I wasn't very patient with Scout. The truth is, I was really being selfish. I didn't sleep well last night, and I was less than thrilled that she was taking her sweet time to go out and potty in the wee hours of the morning. I impatiently scooped her up and tossed her back on my pillow with frustration. I laid down, and she snuggled up right against my neck. I instantly regretted that I hadn't been more patient with her. After all, it really only cost me maybe 3 minutes of sleep.
This is just one of my minor offenses. And I get so frustrated with myself because I don't realize what I should have done until after I have completely messed up. I should have been more patient, I should have been more calm, I should have thought rationally, I should have spoken less, I should have been more quiet, I should have admitted fault and apologized sooner, I should have just stopped being whatever it was I was being before I even started it.
Tonight, at bible study, the Lord was so kind to encourage me in my, what often feels like failed, attempt at self-improvement. The author of the study likened our words and speech to train tracks. She talked about how we can lay tracks to unify and connect, or we can refuse to lay those tracks and let the barriers grow. She talked about how, when train tracks were being laid, the workers would come upon a large barrier that threatened to keep the tracks from completion. Rather than stopping at the barrier, they would use explosives to make a path through it so they could continue on the path they had set out to complete.
We all have our habits, our natural reactions and tendencies. And sometimes, it's really hard to lay tracks, especially when those barriers pop up. Because when you're exhausted, frustrated, irritated, disappointed, and discouraged, it just seems easiest to give up. Even though you've worked really hard to make progress, the barriers seem to be too overwhelming and set you back. But the thing is, we have to explode through them. We have to keep laying those tracks and moving forward. It takes time to tunnel through a mountain, and it takes time to change bad habits into good.
So I'm trying. I don't feel like I am succeeding, but I am trying. And I am thankful that it's possible. I am thankful that I'm not a hopeless situation. And most of all, I am thankful that God's grace is abundant and never-ending because I've got a lot of tracks to lay down, and I know I won't be able to successfully complete my path without His help.
#756 - Because He can keep this train on the tracks.
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:21-26
I always feel like I'm catching on to myself after the fact. For example, at 5:00AM this morning, I wasn't very patient with Scout. The truth is, I was really being selfish. I didn't sleep well last night, and I was less than thrilled that she was taking her sweet time to go out and potty in the wee hours of the morning. I impatiently scooped her up and tossed her back on my pillow with frustration. I laid down, and she snuggled up right against my neck. I instantly regretted that I hadn't been more patient with her. After all, it really only cost me maybe 3 minutes of sleep.
This is just one of my minor offenses. And I get so frustrated with myself because I don't realize what I should have done until after I have completely messed up. I should have been more patient, I should have been more calm, I should have thought rationally, I should have spoken less, I should have been more quiet, I should have admitted fault and apologized sooner, I should have just stopped being whatever it was I was being before I even started it.
Tonight, at bible study, the Lord was so kind to encourage me in my, what often feels like failed, attempt at self-improvement. The author of the study likened our words and speech to train tracks. She talked about how we can lay tracks to unify and connect, or we can refuse to lay those tracks and let the barriers grow. She talked about how, when train tracks were being laid, the workers would come upon a large barrier that threatened to keep the tracks from completion. Rather than stopping at the barrier, they would use explosives to make a path through it so they could continue on the path they had set out to complete.
We all have our habits, our natural reactions and tendencies. And sometimes, it's really hard to lay tracks, especially when those barriers pop up. Because when you're exhausted, frustrated, irritated, disappointed, and discouraged, it just seems easiest to give up. Even though you've worked really hard to make progress, the barriers seem to be too overwhelming and set you back. But the thing is, we have to explode through them. We have to keep laying those tracks and moving forward. It takes time to tunnel through a mountain, and it takes time to change bad habits into good.
So I'm trying. I don't feel like I am succeeding, but I am trying. And I am thankful that it's possible. I am thankful that I'm not a hopeless situation. And most of all, I am thankful that God's grace is abundant and never-ending because I've got a lot of tracks to lay down, and I know I won't be able to successfully complete my path without His help.
#756 - Because He can keep this train on the tracks.
"When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:21-26