Reason #792
You’re only responsible for you. I have to remind myself of this over and over again. I’m only responsible for me, for my actions, for my words, and for my thoughts. No one else will be held accountable for any of the things I do except me. No one has to answer for the choices I’ve made except me. And no one has to explain my reasoning or reactions except me. Because no one can make you do, say, act, think, or feel anything. And even though it often seems like it, we can’t make anyone else do, say, act, think or feel anything. We all decide those things on our own, each responsible for what we decide.
One of the core values at my work place is to “own it.” Own what you have done. Own up to what you have done, I should say. If you’ve made a mistake, admit it. Don’t try to blame someone else for your errors, and don’t try to use someone else as the scapegoat. Sure, you may have felt frustrated after interacting with them. Yes, they might have required more of you than you initially planned on giving, but in the end, you’re responsible for the job you’ve done and you’re responsible for the service you gave.
I have found that I like to assume the blame for how other people feel. I am not sure where I picked up this habit, but I really struggle with the decisions, words, and actions that other people make. I somehow take on the responsibility as if I was the one who brought those things about. Maybe it’s the people-pleaser side of me. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. Maybe it’s how I make sure I don’t ever have to be on the receiving end of a surprising heartache again. Because I think if people respond a certain way, if they say a certain phrase, or if they act in a particular manner, I must have caused it. It’s my fault, and if it weren’t for me, things would be different. But the Lord has been showing me this over and over again, as He has requested things of me that I don’t particularly want to do, because He knows I need to understand this.
I have chosen to make myself vulnerable, which I sometimes regret, yet I feel that through these moments the Lord is trying to show me that I can only do what He asks of me. He is only going to hold me responsible for my actions and words, not for how someone else responds. And so I have to let it go. I have to give it up to Him. And if makes me “feel” a certain way, then I have to own those feelings and let Him help me through it. Because when I realize that I have the choice of how I will react or respond, and that I am free of the responsibility of that for others, then I realize I can choose to honor God with what I’m responsible for.
I can choose to be a reflection of mercy, grace and kindness, or I can choose to be a reflection of bitterness, hatred, and jealousy. I can choose to speak words of healing, words of life, and words of encouragement, or I can choose to speak words of hurt, words that tear down, and words that damage. I can dwell on the things of above, or I can dwell on the things of this earth. And I can react in a way that pleases the Lord, or I can react in a way that dishonors who He is. I have the choice, and so do you. And I just praise the Lord that at the end of the day, we only have to answer for ourselves. As long as He is pleased with us, that is all that matters.
#792 - Because we're only responsible for ourselves.
"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:10