Reason #798
Being an adult is hard work. Seriously, it is the most difficult life stage to be in because it doesn’t get any easier. Your responsibilities don’t decrease at any time, and every decision seems so significant because it is. You are making life changing, life altering decisions that you can’t just get out of at a moment’s notice, and so you have to think long and hard about what you do because you have no one to hold accountable for the outcome besides yourself.
I always err on the side of caution. Always. The two most impulsive things I have ever done in my life were get a dog and get a tiny wrist tattoo. Those were two decisions that I only thought about for no longer than a week, and I didn’t let myself weigh the pros and cons during my contemplation period. I just threw caution to the wind and went with it. Of course, you know Scout is my baby so obviously I am glad I didn’t give myself enough time to change my mind about her. The tattoo, well, I still don’t regret it either. I may one day, but I doubt it. Half the time, I don’t even remember it’s there. And that sums up the two decisions I have made impulsively (at least impulsively for me). But I find myself at a point in life where I am facing big, life changing decisions, and all of the sudden I just don’t know what I am supposed to do or how long I am supposed to ever decide.
Aaron and I went to go see God’s Not Dead the other night, which was an incredible movie. In fact, it was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. The movie focuses a lot on free will and personal choice, and we came home and talked about how conflicted we feel at this stage in life because of all the choices we have. We find ourselves facing a lot of pending changes, however, those changes will only happen based on our decisions. We could choose to keep things the way they are, or we could choose to change them at any time. We talk about these decisions, weigh the pros and the cons, and then we keep talking about them. We come up with more pros and cons, we make adjustments to our plans, and yet it still seems too hard to make a final decision. And I wonder how people do this. How do they decide on these major life changes? Do they think about them long and hard? Do they make lists? Do they talk them out over and over again? Do they chose to throw caution to the wind and be impulsive? Or, do I just worry too much?
The thing that is tough is realizing what you need to do and yet wanting to do something else. I think that’s what makes these decisions so hard. The conflict comes when I realize my selfishness is not lining up with God’s will. And so I choose to rationalize rather than move on because I like things on paper. I like an absolute yes or an absolute no. Just like with Aaron. He was an absolute ‘yes’ and that was easy. Why can’t it all be that way? I guess that’s where you learn faith and obedience. Because if God’s answer is no, then you lay aside your selfishness and accept it. And if God’s answer is wait, then you do as He has asked. And if it is yes, and it still seems a little scary, then you trust that He wouldn’t lead you to a place that isn’t good for you, and you follow His guidance. An exercise of faith no matter how you look at it because sometimes, no matter what the answer is, it’s not always easy.
#798 - For the chance to exercise our faith.
"I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." - Deuteronomy 32:3-4