Reason #820
If I have the day off from work or happen to have a break in my day, I like to take Aaron a drink at work. This doesn’t happen often since he works on the complete opposite side of town from where we live and where I work. But every now and then it works out, and I love surprising him with a sweet tea to get him through the afternoon.
I stopped by his office on Tuesday to take him a drink and pick up my sunglasses that he mistakenly wore to work that day. I met one of his co-workers for the first time. He shook my hand and said, “I’ve heard a lot about you.” I jokingly replied, “Well I hope it was all the good stuff.” He reassured me it was nothing but good. One of Aaron’s other co-workers and good friend peeked his head around the corner and said, “Is there anything bad because I’ve never heard of it?” I smiled and laughed and thought to myself, “If only you knew…”. I could give them a list a mile long about my daily mishaps and mess ups. I could tell them all sorts of things about myself that might make their eyes pop out of their sockets, and in that moment I was reminded again of what a great husband I have. Because I am sure there are plenty of things that he’d like to change here and there about me, but when he talks about me to others he only focuses on the good stuff.
I've overheard many conversations where people spend their time venting about the things their spouse is and wishing for the things they are not. Yet, somehow, they ended up married to that person so there must have been something they liked at the start. But over time, we fall guilty of becoming the creator. We start to come up with ideas and thoughts of what we want them to be. The things that make them who they are, the way they were created, all of the sudden don't seem to be what we want anymore and so we start to recreate. We try to force out those things that we want to change while attempting to squeeze them into this mold that doesn't fit so that we can get them to be exactly what we want. And if that's not asking enough, we begin to decide what it is we want them to be to us. We want to create this perfect specimen of a person who always makes us happy. One who never upsets us, pushes our buttons, tests our patience, or challenges our thoughts. We want this ideal individual who somehow meets every deep desire and longing that we have. And before long we are expecting so much out of this attempted recreation that the only thing they can give us is disappointment. Maybe they weren't who we thought they were. Maybe they turned into a different person over time. But here's the thing, they could never be what you were expecting because that's unrealistic. The moment you became the creator was the moment you began to unappreciate the creation, a creation that was perfectly made in the image of God.
We don't need to be the creator. Our spouse and our children don't need to be recreated. I am pretty sure God got it right the first time around without our help, and so where does that leave us? If we aren't going to create, then what do we do instead? We pursue the Creator. After all, did you notice that the things you were trying to create in them were really the things you wished you, yourself, had? Did you realize you were demanding the things from them that were missing from your life? And so you began to create. Create a perfect spouse, a perfect family, a picture perfect life and you'll be happy again. But the truth is, you can't create it. In fact, you'll drive yourself and everyone else crazy trying to. And so stop. Don't be a creator, pursue the Creator.
When we pursue the Creator, it's amazing how these things change. He begins to recreate in us. He begins to fill those voids and open our eyes. He begins to restore our joy and gladness. When we pursue our Creator, our families begin to look different. Our home life, our marriage, is changed for the better. Not because we've done it. No, it's because He did it. When we pursue our Creator, He creates us into to the mothers, wives, sisters, daughter, friends, and family members He needs us to be. And when we pursue the Creator, we realize that the changes take care of themselves. Somehow, someway, they just work out. When we let the Creator do His job, when we pursue Him and let Him work in our lives, He will recreate us into His perfect image which doesn't need to be changed.
#820 - Because when we pursue the Creator, He recreates us in His perfect image.
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27