Reason #854
My biggest struggle in life is with myself. I am my biggest critic, and I have no problem critiquing myself at any moment. I don’t know if this is a woman thing or just a Brittnye thing. Maybe it’s a byproduct of being a highly sensitive perfectionist. But I look at things in life, especially when they aren’t going as planned, and I always attribute it to myself. It must be my fault. I am the common denominator.
It’s not easy living life this way. In fact, it’s actually really hard. There are times in life where I wish I didn’t care. Oh, to be carefree. But I’m not. I care way too much, and it takes a lot out of me. And as I stood in the kitchen, tears streaming down my face, I ashamedly told Aaron what all was wrong with me. I told him about how much I mess things up and how I feel like I cause so much trouble for people. I told him that it’s always my fault, somehow. And he looked at me and said, “I’m going to start praying that you see yourself the way I see you because when I look at you, I don’t see any of those things.”
What if we prayed that for ourselves? What if we looked at ourselves the way Jesus does? What if we inspected our lives through the lens of truth rather than being blinded by lies? What if we saw ourselves in the same light that Jesus does? Redeemed, restored, repurposed. What if we took a good look and saw our true value? The infinite value we have because His priceless blood was shed for us. What if we noticed that we were treasured? What if we actually saw ourselves as His prized possessions, the crown of creation? What if we understood that when Jesus looks at us, He doesn’t see the scars? Jesus doesn’t see what all is wrong, He sees what exists, what He has created. He sees a heart that yearns to please Him, and He is pleased. He sees a spirit that longs to bring glory to His name, and He is glorified. He sees what counts. He sees the potential that is waiting to come alive. He sees the bigger picture, the progress, the change. And when Jesus looks at us, He sees His child. Washed and purified, made righteous and holy, freed from the bondage of sin, freed from the accusations, free to walk in the light. Jesus sees us for who we really are, not what we feel we are.
So give me your eyes, Jesus. Show me how you view me. Show me what you really see when you look at me. Remind me that I am a work in progress. A creature that is still being created. That perfection doesn’t exist in this life, but rather in your presence. That how I feel doesn’t define who I am. You do. You created me purposefully, intentionally. You see my heart, you see what matters, so help me to see what matters, too. Help me to recognize who I really am, who you have called me to be. Jesus, help me to see myself the way that you see me. And thank you for seeing and loving me for who I am.
#854 - Because He sees us differently than we see ourselves.
"Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word. Reassure me of your promise, made to those who fear you." - Psalm 119:37-38