Reason #991
Each day I am a little bit more nervous than the day before. I sit down to type, and I think about how quickly the end is approaching. I've been praying about what the Lord would have me do when I reach 1000, and I have yet to hear an answer. My mind is filled with so many things that I want to write about, and I honestly can't imagine going a full day without writing. I have forgotten what life was like before I started my blog, and truth be told, I am thankful for that.
I blogged about intentional endings the other night. Sometimes we forget to end things intentionally. Depending on how our time was spent, sometimes we end things abruptly. Sometimes we end them with contempt and frustration. Sometimes we end things really poorly. And sometimes we end them too early. Of course, sometimes we don't know when things will end, and sometimes they end unexpectedly.
I hate endings. I mean, unless it was a really bad situation, most people don't like endings. They're hard. It's hard to let go. It's hard to move on. It's hard to start writing a new chapter and close an old one. When it's all you've known, or at least what you've known for a long time, endings can be really difficult.
Aaron and I talked about endings tonight. The conversation started out as a walk down memory lane, and it turned into a conversation about ending relationships. Everyone has been in a relationship that has ended at some point or another. I'm not just referring to dating relationships, either. But our conversation was primarily centered around the previous relationships we've gone through that ended, and thank goodness they did. Of course, at the time we didn't feel so certain and confident, but we didn't know what God had in store for us either. We didn't know we'd be meeting down the road one day. Had we known that, those relationships would have never ended because they would have never started. But since we only know what lies directly before us, that's all we have to go off of. That and trust, and so we discussed the fact that being in a relationship that ends is never easy regardless of whether or not you're the one who decides to end it.
Before Aaron and I got married, I had a moment where I really thought about whether or not I could go through with it. I questioned whether I needed enter into such a precious, sacred covenant. Not because of Aaron, he's the best husband a girl could ask for, but because I was afraid. All of the sudden, I remembered that sometimes relationships, even covenants, end. Our dating relationship and engagement had been so easy and so seamless that the thought hadn't really crossed my mind. But we were a month or so out from our wedding, and I remembered feeling a little scared. Had the previous 5 years of my life never happened, I wouldn't have considered such an idea. I knew that once I committed, I was committed. I wasn't going anywhere. And, call me old fashioned, but growing up, I had always believed that once you were married, well, you were married. That was it. End of story. Unless your spouse died, you were one forever. There was not a "if you change your mind" clause. But I was proved wrong. I had learned, the hard way, that some people say "I do," fully meaning that they do as long as they want to. The moment they don't want to honor their vows anymore, they don't. Somehow, they make the decision to end the relationship they fully committed to. A relationship they not only committed to a person of their choosing, but a relationship they committed to God. And I understood that no one is ever fully in control of endings. Sometimes we think we know how the end will go, and sometimes we are completely wrong.
But the beauty of endings is that God writes new beginnings. He is the Author of all things. If God can speak light into existence and breathe life into dirt, He can do much with our broken endings. Just when we think it's over, really, it has only begun. Because it is God who determines endings. Man makes decisions, but God has the final say. And so we trust Him with our endings. We lay them at His feet and we ask Him to show us where we need to pick up and move on. What are the next steps? What direction should we go? Where is He leading us? Because if we knew what God had in store for us down the road, I fully believe that we'd have an easier time moving on. If we knew what God was going to do with us next, we'd be eager to get there rather than clinging to or lamenting the final stages of our current situation. And so we just have to have faith in His plan. In the fact that He has a plan. And we wait. When it ends, He will lead us forward. Who knows where that will be, but we know it will be in the right direction.
#991 - Because He brings beautiful beginnings from our endings.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11
I blogged about intentional endings the other night. Sometimes we forget to end things intentionally. Depending on how our time was spent, sometimes we end things abruptly. Sometimes we end them with contempt and frustration. Sometimes we end things really poorly. And sometimes we end them too early. Of course, sometimes we don't know when things will end, and sometimes they end unexpectedly.
I hate endings. I mean, unless it was a really bad situation, most people don't like endings. They're hard. It's hard to let go. It's hard to move on. It's hard to start writing a new chapter and close an old one. When it's all you've known, or at least what you've known for a long time, endings can be really difficult.
Aaron and I talked about endings tonight. The conversation started out as a walk down memory lane, and it turned into a conversation about ending relationships. Everyone has been in a relationship that has ended at some point or another. I'm not just referring to dating relationships, either. But our conversation was primarily centered around the previous relationships we've gone through that ended, and thank goodness they did. Of course, at the time we didn't feel so certain and confident, but we didn't know what God had in store for us either. We didn't know we'd be meeting down the road one day. Had we known that, those relationships would have never ended because they would have never started. But since we only know what lies directly before us, that's all we have to go off of. That and trust, and so we discussed the fact that being in a relationship that ends is never easy regardless of whether or not you're the one who decides to end it.
Before Aaron and I got married, I had a moment where I really thought about whether or not I could go through with it. I questioned whether I needed enter into such a precious, sacred covenant. Not because of Aaron, he's the best husband a girl could ask for, but because I was afraid. All of the sudden, I remembered that sometimes relationships, even covenants, end. Our dating relationship and engagement had been so easy and so seamless that the thought hadn't really crossed my mind. But we were a month or so out from our wedding, and I remembered feeling a little scared. Had the previous 5 years of my life never happened, I wouldn't have considered such an idea. I knew that once I committed, I was committed. I wasn't going anywhere. And, call me old fashioned, but growing up, I had always believed that once you were married, well, you were married. That was it. End of story. Unless your spouse died, you were one forever. There was not a "if you change your mind" clause. But I was proved wrong. I had learned, the hard way, that some people say "I do," fully meaning that they do as long as they want to. The moment they don't want to honor their vows anymore, they don't. Somehow, they make the decision to end the relationship they fully committed to. A relationship they not only committed to a person of their choosing, but a relationship they committed to God. And I understood that no one is ever fully in control of endings. Sometimes we think we know how the end will go, and sometimes we are completely wrong.
But the beauty of endings is that God writes new beginnings. He is the Author of all things. If God can speak light into existence and breathe life into dirt, He can do much with our broken endings. Just when we think it's over, really, it has only begun. Because it is God who determines endings. Man makes decisions, but God has the final say. And so we trust Him with our endings. We lay them at His feet and we ask Him to show us where we need to pick up and move on. What are the next steps? What direction should we go? Where is He leading us? Because if we knew what God had in store for us down the road, I fully believe that we'd have an easier time moving on. If we knew what God was going to do with us next, we'd be eager to get there rather than clinging to or lamenting the final stages of our current situation. And so we just have to have faith in His plan. In the fact that He has a plan. And we wait. When it ends, He will lead us forward. Who knows where that will be, but we know it will be in the right direction.
#991 - Because He brings beautiful beginnings from our endings.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11