Be kind, tenderhearted & forgiving
The raw confession hit me like a ton of bricks, taking away my breath. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but it was the truth.
And it hurt.
I had every reason to be angry and upset. My flesh was ready to overreact, but I knew throwing out hate-filled words would only add gasoline to this fire, fanning the flames and possibly creating an explosion. In the moment, it would have felt nice, but in the long run it would have done great damage.
I stepped into the shower. A moment alone to recollect. Tears streamed down my face as I whispered, “God, what am I supposed to do?”
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32
The answer. Simple and straight-forward.
Be kind.
Be tenderhearted.
Forgive.
Forgiveness is a choice. A deliberate act of grace and mercy. And I knew that regardless of how justified I felt in withholding forgiveness, I had no right to do so because I have been forgiven.
And the key to authentic, and not forced, forgiveness is found in a kind, tender heart.
Friend, I totally understand the challenge to forgive. In moments of hurt, it is much easier to be bitter, to spout off harsh words, to slander the offender, and to allow anger to drive emotions. I’ll be the first to admit that’s been my response more often than not. But what I’ve discovered is when I withhold forgiveness, I am doing no one a favor. Because eventually, I’ll be faced with the choice to not only offer forgiveness but to seek forgiveness, too.
Yet God offers us a higher way. A holier way. Because He has forgiven us, we can forgive others. It may not immediately remove the hurt. The sting might hang around for a while as you choose to surrender your raw emotions and allow God to bring healing. But it will free you from the burden of anger and bitterness. It will allow you to move forward in hope rather than being held captive by despair.
And so if you find yourself struggling with forgiveness, ask God to create within you a kind and tender heart. That has been my prayer many times over, and He has been faithful to supply. Because a tender heart is a teachable heart. A tender heart is a moldable heart. And a tender heart honors God because it is a reflection of His heart towards you and me.
