Worth It

My life was over the day I saw two pink lines. Life, the way I’d always known it, at least.

Because no longer was it just me. Me, doing whatever I wanted. Achieving my goals and dreams without a care in the world. Me, enjoying extra sleep and light responsibility. Able to go and do and the drop of a hat.

All that changed the day I got a positive test.

Now, there was us.

Her and me. And, unlike me, she had no choice in the manner. She was along for the ride, whether or not she liked it.

But for me, it started then. The sacrifice. First it was my body. The body I’d worked to main. Stretched and pulled. Achy and sore. Changing so that it would never be the same again.

And then it was sleep. The thing I’d coveted the most. My precious, precious sleep.

And then it was my career. My time. My goals and dreams and desires.

All of it sacrificed for her. For them.

And never once, not ever, have I regretted it for a moment.

In fact, I often think about what my life would be had I never gotten those two pink lines.

Quiet.

Tidy.

Simpler.

And the thought of not know her. Of not knowing them. Of never having kissed their sweet faces, or felt their chubby arms squeeze around my neck, or having their warm little bodies snuggled against my scarred frame in the early hours of the morning, or having heard the sweet echoes of love leap off their tiny lips is too much to bear. I’m thankful I’ll never have to wonder. That’ll I never have to not know.

My life changed greatly the moment they arrived. No doubt about it.

The person I was, she changed, too.

But truth be told, every single change was for the better.

And all of it, the ups and downs, challenges and celebrations…. absolutely, unbelievably, undeniably worth it.