Delight and Desires

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

“This was what I always wanted.”

But it didn’t look the way I had expected it to play out.

No, I’d had a different plan. Different ideas. And yet, God had managed to weave them all into the very tapestry of my life. It only took decades to realize it.

When I was a little girl, I would set up shop in the living room and curl my mother’s hair while she graded papers. And if it wasn’t her hair, it was doll hair. All with the dream that one day, maybe, I’d find myself doing the hair of others for a living.

And then there was this great childhood desire to be a cashier at the grocery store. The conveyor belt, the scanner, the sound of the cash register popping open for payment. I lived for weekly trips to the store. But more than that, I relished the opportunity to shelve groceries at home. Just like the cashier, with an imaginary scanner in hand.

But between hair styles and trips to the store, I was busy teaching and waitressing on the side. Lining all of my animals in a tidy row so they could see the whiteboard. I read to them, quizzed them, and borrowed all of my mother’s used teaching supplies before I sat them around the little table to serve them invisible delicacies.  

And then I got to college, and all of that changed. The want for money and prestige and position came into play until the day I held my first child in my arms.

And now as I brush their hair, I am the stylist.

As I stand in the self-checkout lines at the store, I am now the cashier.

Multiple times a day I am the cook, and the waitress.

When we sit down at the kitchen table every other afternoon, I am the teacher.

And the counselor.

And the nurse.

And the accountant (so I am actually using my degree… some).

And the coordinator.

And the event planner.

And all the things I’ve loved and ever wanted to do or be, rolled in to one position – Mom.

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4

It took me a while to get here. To the complete submission of what God had been preparing me for. To surrender all of the things that sounded so impressive and appealing.

And yet what I’ve come to realize is that, although many desires didn’t arrive in the forms I had expected over the years, they’ve been granted, none the less.

Not because I deserve any of them. Or because I was entitled to receive them.

But because God is good and gracious. Faithful to keep His promises to those who delight in Him.

God will meet the desires He’s placed in your heart, my friend. He probably already has. But maybe you just can’t see it right now. Maybe it showed up in a different form than what you expected.

Ask Him to give you eyes to see it. And then take delight in all He has done.