Reason #322
November, you ended as quickly as you began! One month left and the year is over. 2012 will be tucked under our belts, and I’ll happily say I’m grateful for that.
2012 has been a big year for me. I have been challenged and stretched more than ever, and so you think after all I have learned and seen I wouldn’t let the little things get me down. But I do, and it’s those little things that get the best of us more often than not. I still struggle with patience. It’s a good thing the Lord has an unlimited amount of patience, because if He didn’t, He would have definitely run completely out of patience with me a long time ago. And so my patience is being tested once again, and I think I’m failing this one miserably.
Do you ever feel a little lost? Almost as if you’re floating around in a daze? And maybe you feel like you just keep walking past locked doors. Pushing each one, hoping one will open, yet they don’t. Sealed shut and you have no key, no way of even attempting to open it. I have these dreams for myself. Dreams of doing big things, making a difference, adding worth to the world. Dreams that can get really creative but then I wake up to reality. And it is in these moments that I feel unsure. What is it that He is trying to tell me? Why am I feeling this way? What’s my purpose in the plan? What is the plan? Will I know it? How can I be sure of what it is?
And so it can seem a little scary and downright discouraging. It’s hard to be out of control and then, when a dash of patience-testing is added to that mix, it doesn’t make it any easier. But all you can do it wait because it is out of your control. I like to push things to happen. I’m a “pusher.” I don’t like being stagnant and I especially don’t like it when there is nothing I can do about it. But sometimes life is a waiting game. Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries said, “I can rest in the assurance that if something is to be, it isn’t up to me. It’s up to God.” And I have to remember that. Because I, unfortunately, learned it incorrectly a long time ago. “If it is to be, it’s up to me,” which is how I’ve approached a lot of things in life. So I’m trying, really trying to let it go. To stop draining myself of joy and peace and to just let it be…up to God that is. Because it is up to Him. Each breath I take is up to Him. Each morning I wake is up to Him. Each night I lay down is up to Him. Every tick of the second hand is up to Him. And I may not always like it. I may not always have as much fun as I would prefer. Things may not always play out as I imagined. But over time I have come to realize that when I just let go of it, when I actually leave it up to Him, things will fall into place just as they should be.
#322 – Because it is up to Him and it always will be!
"Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless—like chasing the wind. Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny." - Ecclesiastes 6:9-10