Reason #381

There are some days you never forget. No matter how old you are or how much you experience, you just don't forget it. And sometimes you remember every detail of that day. Where you were, what you had on, who you were with, the time, and the setting. I'll never forget the day I realized I needed Jesus to be my Savior. In fact, it was 18 years ago this January. I've told you about it before because that was a pivotal moment in my life. Even at the age of 7, I realized I was making a significant decision. I committed my life to Jesus Christ. I decided I would follow Him all of my days, and there hasn't been a day since then that I've ever thought otherwise.

 

 

Over the past year and half, my walk with the Lord has grown leaps and bounds. And here's the thing, when you walk through something difficult with someone, you have no option but to grow close, right? And when someone sticks with you through the thick and thin, the chance of them moving on without you is quite unlikely. Because going through tough times bonds us deeper than experiencing the easy parts of life. When someone sees your soul, no matter how broken and ugly it may be, and they pour out acceptance, love, grace, and mercy on you, you'd be a fool not to devote the rest of your life to them.

 

It's easy to hang in there with life's a cake walk. When it's smiles and fun and full of sugar, who would want to be anywhere else? And really, this has been my life for the most part. Easy and always with a good outcome. But there are times when the music stops and the cakes run out. There are times that are hard and tiring and completely frustrating. Life can be disheartening and flat out depressing some days. So you sit by that cake walk hoping the music will turn back on and more sugar will show up because times are sweeter and more enjoyable in that setting. And why did the cakes have to run out anyway? Why did the music have to stop? I don't know. I really don't.

 

But I feel like I've been on a cake walk for a while. Receiving one sweet blessing after another. In fact, I could hardly believe it myself. Just when I thought things couldn't get better, they would. And I just felt like I was on a roll. I felt so close to the Lord, so in tune with Him. I could see Him in everything. I was ultra sensitive to His presence and so I just felt like I was being spoiled to pieces. But the music stopped for a moment. No one handed me a cake. Rather, I was handed a mirror and a slice of humble pie. And so my heart began to yearn for His presence. Longing to see Him and feel Him because I couldn't. I kept doing what I had been doing but something just seemed different and I couldn't figure it out. And my heart was heavy because I missed it. I missed Him. Seeing Him, hearing Him, constantly being aware of Him, I felt like I was losing it. And this had been a fear of mine for quite sometime and I just didn't know how to handle it.

 

Well, as I've always known was true and am now learning more than ever, honesty is the best policy in any relationship. And when you're that close with someone, it's only right that you be completely honest, so I was honest about it. I just asked. And although I couldn't feel Him or sense Him, I knew He was there. And regardless of whether or not He was going to obviously meet me right then and there or at a later time, I was staying. That's commitment. Staying put and striving for unity even when it is harder than normal. Seeking out love when you can't see it. Not getting frustrated or giving up just because you don't "feel it" any more. And the Lord, well, He was faithful to show His face to me. Faithful to bless me with His presence and remind me of His love for me. Faithful to stay by my side, too, even though I was the one with failing senses. 

 

I heard an old hymn on the radio yesterday morning and one of the verses says:

 

When darkness veils His lovely face

I rest in His unchanging grace

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil

On Christ the solid rock I stand

all other ground is sinking sand...

 

 

I'm grateful for the truth in those words. Sometimes, it's harder to see. Sometimes, we can't hear as well. And even though it may seem that we're out there alone, that we've been forgotten because the darkness is attempting to consume us, that's never the case. We must be faithful to stick to what we know. We must anchor down and wait on Him. Because how beautiful and rewarding it is to be in the presence of God. How worth the wait! And so even on the hard days when I can't see, on the days full of shame and guilt, the weeks covered in disgrace and regret, when I feel so distant and my heart just longs to be close, I'm grateful that I can rest in the truth that He's right there. And we can look at it as an opportunity to grow our faith. A chance to really show Him how much we do trust and love Him. Because He is our rock. Our Savior. And even when we feel completely overwhelemed by life's lessons, we can trust that He will never let us sink but will always be a firm foundation on which we can triumphiantly stand.

 

#381 - Because He will lift the veil of darkness so that we can see Him!

 

"I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes are straining to see your promises come true." - Psalm 119:81-82