Reason #394
I worry about things, and then I wonder why I worry about them. I put things off because I begin to feel overwhelmed. For example, I did not have a single moment of down time this weekend. I looked at my calendar tonight and realized that down-time will not return until the end of May. And so I began to panic just a little bit because I felt out of control. Truth be told, I really do have a say in most of it but things start to pile up and I just want to fast forward. I want to skip over all of it, and so rather than tackling it right then and there, I put it off hoping that somehow it will take care of itself. I will say I work well under pressure, however, I'd prefer not to be pressured. This is not a good tactic, I know.
Maybe you're like me. One little worry leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to another and the next thing you know you're worried about something so silly and insignificant such as what to fix for dinner tomorrow night. I am not a "go with the flow" type of girl. I'm too type-A to not have a plan in place. And my big worries, the ones sort of worth worrying about, are magnified even more because my whole perspective has shifted. I begin looking at everything wondering how I'll take care of it. I begin to wonder how it will get done, how it will work out, and how I'll be able to get through it. And so, today, I finally had to make some decisions. I had to move, to mark some of those things off of my to-do list that I've been shoving to the bottom. And you know why they kept getting pushed down to the end of the list? Because I've been worried the whole time about the outcome.
After a few hours of diligent work with people who did an awesome job of encouraging me to accomplish these tasks, I'm happy to report that things turned out incredibly well. In fact, they turned out better than expected! And I wondered why I allowed myself to become so worried about them in the first place. Why didn't I just do these things right away rather than procrastinating and allowing anxiety to come into the picture? I wish I would have acted sooner. I wish I wouldn't have wasted time feeling stressed for no good reason. But I realize that I start to worry because I begin looking at things from a human perspective. I begin depending on myself, seeking out my own desires, trying to figure out how I'll manage things, how I'll make it all work, rather than just trusting God. Rather than focusing on Him, and what He can do, I focus on myself and what I can't do.
I heard this song by Francesca Batastelli a few weeks ago and instantly fell in love with it. The chorus says:
Maybe you're like me. One little worry leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to another and the next thing you know you're worried about something so silly and insignificant such as what to fix for dinner tomorrow night. I am not a "go with the flow" type of girl. I'm too type-A to not have a plan in place. And my big worries, the ones sort of worth worrying about, are magnified even more because my whole perspective has shifted. I begin looking at everything wondering how I'll take care of it. I begin to wonder how it will get done, how it will work out, and how I'll be able to get through it. And so, today, I finally had to make some decisions. I had to move, to mark some of those things off of my to-do list that I've been shoving to the bottom. And you know why they kept getting pushed down to the end of the list? Because I've been worried the whole time about the outcome.
After a few hours of diligent work with people who did an awesome job of encouraging me to accomplish these tasks, I'm happy to report that things turned out incredibly well. In fact, they turned out better than expected! And I wondered why I allowed myself to become so worried about them in the first place. Why didn't I just do these things right away rather than procrastinating and allowing anxiety to come into the picture? I wish I would have acted sooner. I wish I wouldn't have wasted time feeling stressed for no good reason. But I realize that I start to worry because I begin looking at things from a human perspective. I begin depending on myself, seeking out my own desires, trying to figure out how I'll manage things, how I'll make it all work, rather than just trusting God. Rather than focusing on Him, and what He can do, I focus on myself and what I can't do.
I heard this song by Francesca Batastelli a few weeks ago and instantly fell in love with it. The chorus says:
When I fix my eyes on all that you are
Then every doubt I feel deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade and fall to the ground
Cause when I seek your face and don't look around
Any place I'm in, grows strangely dim.
This song has been stuck in my head ever since, and I think the Lord has kept it there for a reason. Fix my eyes on all that He is. It seems like such a simple thing to do but I get so distracted. I start looking around at all that's going on, at all that needs to be done, and I quit looking to Him. I quit depending on Him to help and I just take matters into my own hands (or push them to the bottom of my to-do list). But what a difference it really does make when we fix our eyes on Him. When we look intently at the one who Authors our every day, the one who is and provides all that we need, the One who desires to take away our doubt and fears, when we focus on Him, we realize that everything is really going to be just fine. It's going to be okay, and it will work out. Somehow, He will work it out. And things don't seem like such a big deal anymore. Because when we focus on Him, we come to see that a.) He is more than capable to handle our worries and doubts and b.) He cares about them and wants to help. And if we have God on our side, working on our behalf and taking care of us, well, there is no good reason to worry at all. And so, tonight, these worries have faded because God has shown me, once again, that He has this under control. He knows what I need and He's going to take care of me. I don't have to worry about life and all of the details, rather I need to just enjoy it. And I'm so grateful to serve a God who wants exactly that for His children!
#394 - Because there is no reason to worry if we keep our eyes fixed on Him.
"The Lord helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads. The eyes of all look to you in hope..." - Psalm 145:14-15