Reason #395

Man's greatest desire is to be known and loved anyway. - Donald Miller

It's a little scary, right? It's hard to tell someone everything about yourself. To open up and let them see you in total vulnerability. Our parents are exempt from this one. They gave us life, and they've been there from the start. They know too much about us, they have seen us go through every stage of life, so we know they'll love us anyway. But what about everyone else? What if they knew about us, and I mean really knew about us? What if they saw us at our weakest, at our worst? In the mornings when we roll out of bed looking a wrinkled mess with bad hair and horrible breath. Those times when we're on our knees in total desperation, pleading for help, for forgiveness, for a second chance. When we can't eat or sleep or possibly be any more despondent. When the tears won't stop rolling down our faces and depression seems to be the new norm. Those moments when we fail miserably. Burn dinner, get fired, get in over our heads, break promises, don't make the cut, face ridicule, can't squeeze into our skinny jeans, or just lose it completely. Those times that come and bring out the worst in us. A switch flips and blood boils. Anger rises to the top and spills over before you can catch it. Words fly, you say things you don't mean, they see a side of you they've never ever seen before. They know you. They know you more than you wish they knew you. They know more than they'd like to know, too. And they love you anyway.

And maybe you let them see your imperfections. The physical things you wish you could change about yourself. The things you'd never see on a supermodel, you know what I mean. And even then they aren't scared away. They see your heart, too. Those things that really make you who you are. Some of those things you may not like about yourself either, but they see them. They catch a glimpse and you wonder why they'd stick around. You wonder why they'd put up with you. They know you by now, and yet they love you. But isn't that what you were hoping for? Even in the midst of trying to convince them otherwise, deep down, this was the result you were wanting. To be known, fully known and seen and heard, and yet, still feel loved inspite of it all.

^"But on the way, Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back to your mothers’ homes. And may the Lord reward you for your kindness to your husbands and to me. May the Lord bless you with the security of another marriage.” Then she kissed them good-bye, and they all broke down and wept. “No,” they said. “We want to go with you to your people.” But Naomi replied, “Why should you go on with me? Can I still give birth to other sons who could grow up to be your husbands? No, my daughters, return to your parents’ homes, for I am too old to marry again. And even if it were possible, and I were to get married tonight and bear sons, then what? Would you wait for them to grow up and refuse to marry someone else? No, of course not, my daughters! Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord himself has raised his fist against me.” And again they wept together, and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law good-bye. But Ruth clung tightly to Naomi. “Look,” Naomi said to her, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.” But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more." - Ruth 1:8-18

I think they got to see a side of her they had probably never seen before. Totally despondent, probably at her worst. Naomi, heartbroken and lost and just trying to get back home. Maybe she really was just trying to do them a favor. Maybe she didn't know what she was doing because it was the anger and depression talking. Maybe she just wanted to be alone because, sometimes, misery doesn't love company. I don't know what results she really wanted, and she may not have known either. But she gave them a convincing arguement. She opened up and spilled out exactly what was on her heart. Bitterness and anger. Frustration flowed from her mouth, and I don't really blame her. Because it hurt, she hurt. She didn't hide her heavy heart, she exposed it. It's a scary thing to do. It's hard to break down after having to wear a brave face for so long. And she wept. Bitterly and for a long time, I bet. She may have even wondered why she offered them that out, and she may have wished she hadn't after the words had left her mouth. But it was too late, and Orpah took it. I don't blame Orpah either because it seems like she was just trying to give Naomi what she was asking for. But was it really what she was asking for? Because maybe what Naomi was really saying was, "I'm scared. I am so angry and terrified and mad. I feel slighted. This is unfair, and I don't even know what to do. I don't want to drag you down with me, but I don't want to go alone. I bet you wish you weren't here with me, so let me just help you out. Don't feel like you have to stay. My life, as I know it, is over. Move on, you deserve better than me. Plus, I really don't want you to see me like this anyway." But it's easiest to push people away when you're at your lowest, most humiliating state. It just seems better to hide out and be alone.

But Ruth didn't take no for an answer. She saw Naomi. She heard what she said. She cried with her. She understood, too. And maybe it hurt her feelings that Naomi was trying to get rid of her. Maybe she didn't understand why Naomi was pushing her away. Ruth probably didn't know what to do or how to help. She didn't know what to say or think. But even as she watched Naomi flounder in this totally vulnerable, completely heartbreak moment, Ruth loved her. She saw Naomi for what she was, a bitter, hurting, confused woman, and she loved her. She refused to leave her. She loved her because of who she was, not for any other reason. Truthfully, at that moment, Naomi had nothing to offer Ruth. No persuasive arguements or valuble things to keep her around. She was simply being herself, and Ruth loved her. Ruth stayed and committed to her, too. She wasn't letting this one she knew and loved out of her sight. And after she made her intentions known, Naomi didn't breath another word about it, but I bet she let out a sigh of relief.

It's hard to be known. It seems easier to stay quiet and secretive. Keep it all inside. But how can you truly love someone you don't really know? And, when you love someone, you can never know enough about them. And this is how God feels about us. He knows us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees every side of us, has a front row seat to our every moment, and yet He loves us anyway. He is a God who is committed, too. Committed to staying by our side, to never leaving us. No matter how much we may try to convince Him otherwise, He isn't going anywhere. And that's love. Love hangs around even though you have nothing to offer it. Love doesn't have to be convinced to stay. Love requires no fancy offers or attractive deals. Love looks at you, no matter what's going on, and love says, "Yea, you do not look your best in the morning. You cry way too often. You make mountains out of molehills and say weird things all of the time. You're really impatient,  kind of obsessive, and overly detail oriented, .... (and the list goes on and on and on). I know all of those things about you. I know that's how you are, how you feel, how you think. And you know what, I love you anyway."

It's a pretty sweet thing, to be known and be loved anyway. That should definitely cause a big sigh of relief. And I'm grateful to serve a God who feels that way about us. Long hair, no hair, beauty queen, drama queen, pessimistic, optimistic, sick, well, loser, winner, top dog, rookie, broken, whole, scarred, flawless, joyful, sorrowful, it doesn't really matter. He's going to love us anyway!

#395 - Because He knows us, He loves us anyway, and He's staying with us!

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." - 1 Corinthians 13:7