Reason #556
Aaron is going out of town tomorrow. This is the first time since we've been married that will spend the night apart. I helped him pack his bag for the trip, and by the time I had pulled out the overnight bag and unfolded it, everything was ready to go in it. Boys have it so easy, they don't even know. Anyway, it'll be me and Scout tomorrow night. Just like old times. And it's so amazing to me how those times really do seem old.
I used to be afraid to stay by myself. Truthfully, until 2 years ago, I had never spent a night alone. Well, I take that back. I had gone on a few trips for work by myself, but that's different. For some reason, there's just something about staying in your house alone. It's your home, your place of comfort and the place you know best, but it can seem really different at night when you are by yourself. Maybe that's just me and I'm kind of a wimp, but I never liked staying by myself. When I was in college, I always went home over long weekends if my roommates were going to be gone. And if, for some reason my parents weren't there, I'd stay with my grandparents. And so when the time came for me to stay alone, I freaked out. I tried to do it for a few nights but I got no sleep. My thoughts raced a million miles an hour, and I plotted out a million different ways I could die alone. Every noise scared me, and every flash of light made my heart speed up. My mom stayed with me for a few months. It was so comforting to know someone else was in the house, but once Christmas rolled around, I started staying with them. The Lord, who is so kind and generous, worked things out for me so that I could have a roommate for a while, thus easing me into this new situation in life. Even if you can't see or hear the other person, simply knowing they are there gives you an incredible peace of mind. And after a few weeks, I realized I could do it. The first few times were a little rough, and I definitely left a good amount of lights on, but then I started to like it. In fact, I grew to love living by myself. The freedom, the silence, the fact that I could do whatever I wanted, however I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I was amazed that I ever felt that way, that I would ever even be able to do that.
So maybe you're reading this and you're thinking, "Okay, big deal. Millions of people live by themselves." You're totally right. I'm not that special or accomplished by doing such. But, for me, this was a really big victory and one of those things I never imagined I'd actually do... much less really enjoy. And yet as I think back on how this all came about, I realize how the Lord was so faithful to slowly ease me into this situation. How He made provisions each step of the way until I got to the point that I could finally do it. How He knew exactly how to prepare me and when I'd be ready. Because the Lord has known every step I would take, every challenge I would face, my biggest fears and my greatest needs, so He made sure to take care of each one accordingly. A step at a time until I could confidently walk.
If God cares about making sure His children get to a point where they can sleep alone at night without fear, if He would plan and go to such detailed lengths to make sure and prepare us for that season, surely He would do that with everything else. And so maybe you're facing a situation that scares you to death, although, looking at it from a rational standpoint, it shouldn't. Maybe you think you're just being silly and that it's no big deal. But if you care about it and it is a big deal, God cares about it because He cares about you. So you should tell Him. Ask Him to help you get through it, to provide the necessary stepping stones to get you over it. And with each step of the way, He will make sure to hold you closely until you're ready to walk.
I love Aaron, and I will miss him tomorrow night. But I can honestly say that I won't mind having a quiet night at home with Scout. I won't mind turning the lights out (early), and getting a full night's rest. And I praise the Lord for helping me get to a point where I could do that. For giving me the courage I needed to be brave, to be alone, and to close my eyes at night in confidence whether or not I am by myself. God cares for us more than we will ever understand, and I just praise Him for always being a gentle and good God who will ease us into any thing that comes our way.
#556 - Because He eases us into new circumstances rather than forcing us to sink or swim.
“If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you. Then your face will brighten with innocence. You will be strong and free of fear. You will forget your misery; it will be like water flowing away. Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning. Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help." - Job 11:13-19
I used to be afraid to stay by myself. Truthfully, until 2 years ago, I had never spent a night alone. Well, I take that back. I had gone on a few trips for work by myself, but that's different. For some reason, there's just something about staying in your house alone. It's your home, your place of comfort and the place you know best, but it can seem really different at night when you are by yourself. Maybe that's just me and I'm kind of a wimp, but I never liked staying by myself. When I was in college, I always went home over long weekends if my roommates were going to be gone. And if, for some reason my parents weren't there, I'd stay with my grandparents. And so when the time came for me to stay alone, I freaked out. I tried to do it for a few nights but I got no sleep. My thoughts raced a million miles an hour, and I plotted out a million different ways I could die alone. Every noise scared me, and every flash of light made my heart speed up. My mom stayed with me for a few months. It was so comforting to know someone else was in the house, but once Christmas rolled around, I started staying with them. The Lord, who is so kind and generous, worked things out for me so that I could have a roommate for a while, thus easing me into this new situation in life. Even if you can't see or hear the other person, simply knowing they are there gives you an incredible peace of mind. And after a few weeks, I realized I could do it. The first few times were a little rough, and I definitely left a good amount of lights on, but then I started to like it. In fact, I grew to love living by myself. The freedom, the silence, the fact that I could do whatever I wanted, however I wanted, whenever I wanted. And I was amazed that I ever felt that way, that I would ever even be able to do that.
So maybe you're reading this and you're thinking, "Okay, big deal. Millions of people live by themselves." You're totally right. I'm not that special or accomplished by doing such. But, for me, this was a really big victory and one of those things I never imagined I'd actually do... much less really enjoy. And yet as I think back on how this all came about, I realize how the Lord was so faithful to slowly ease me into this situation. How He made provisions each step of the way until I got to the point that I could finally do it. How He knew exactly how to prepare me and when I'd be ready. Because the Lord has known every step I would take, every challenge I would face, my biggest fears and my greatest needs, so He made sure to take care of each one accordingly. A step at a time until I could confidently walk.
If God cares about making sure His children get to a point where they can sleep alone at night without fear, if He would plan and go to such detailed lengths to make sure and prepare us for that season, surely He would do that with everything else. And so maybe you're facing a situation that scares you to death, although, looking at it from a rational standpoint, it shouldn't. Maybe you think you're just being silly and that it's no big deal. But if you care about it and it is a big deal, God cares about it because He cares about you. So you should tell Him. Ask Him to help you get through it, to provide the necessary stepping stones to get you over it. And with each step of the way, He will make sure to hold you closely until you're ready to walk.
I love Aaron, and I will miss him tomorrow night. But I can honestly say that I won't mind having a quiet night at home with Scout. I won't mind turning the lights out (early), and getting a full night's rest. And I praise the Lord for helping me get to a point where I could do that. For giving me the courage I needed to be brave, to be alone, and to close my eyes at night in confidence whether or not I am by myself. God cares for us more than we will ever understand, and I just praise Him for always being a gentle and good God who will ease us into any thing that comes our way.
#556 - Because He eases us into new circumstances rather than forcing us to sink or swim.
“If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you. Then your face will brighten with innocence. You will be strong and free of fear. You will forget your misery; it will be like water flowing away. Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning. Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help." - Job 11:13-19