Reason #557
Aaron's alarm clock went off at 5:00AM. I felt like I had just fallen asleep. I laid in bed dozing off and on until 5:30, crawled out of bed in my pajamas, and headed out to drop him off for his trip. It was pitch black outside, and I wondered why in the world people chose to actually be up at that time in the morning. I think the day should start about 10:00AM. Seriously, I could get just as much done from 10:00 - 5:00 as I could from 8:00 - 5:00 because it takes me so long to get moving in the morning. Anyway, I hugged him goodbye and sent him off to join the crew on the bus. As I drove away from the parking lot, I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was as if something was missing and I thought to myself, "what if that's the last time I ever see him again?"
You all know how much of a worrier I am. I come by it honestly. Before Aaron and I got married, my parents would always ask me to let them know when I made it home after leaving their house in the evenings. We live 5 minutes apart, and if I didn't text them within 6 minutes, they'd send me a text to see if I was okay. This is how it goes in my family. We are the bunch who always say, "let me know when you get there," and we mean it. We like confirmation that everything is okay because if we aren't told that it is, we are only left to imagine the worst.
My parents went to Mexico about 6 years ago for summer vacation. We had always implemented the "call when you arrive" rule, and I made sure to make them promise they would let me know the moment they got there. I kept my phone close by all day and there was no call. By the end of the second day, I was freaking out. I was practically planning their funerals and coming to terms that I was now an orphan. I was so worried that I got everyone else up in arms and we finally called the resort to get in touch with them. They were alive, and they were fine. All that worrying for nothing.
And so I came home this morning to a super quiet house and as I stood alone in the bathroom getting ready, fear started to take over. What if the brakes went out on the bus that Aaron was on? What if they got in a wreck and it flipped? Who will he sit by? I hope there is someone there to keep him company so that he will have a fun time. Who will he talk to? Who will he hang out with in the evening? What if he decides to go hiking after all and gets hurt on the trail? What if some freak accident happens and I get a phone call in the middle of the night? What if he hits the jackpot at the casino and then gets held hostage for all that money? Oh my word, stop it! And I began to think about how devastated I would be if he didn't come home in one piece. How crushed I would be if something happened to him. Because although I'm not really his protector, I want to at least be there so we can go down together, you know. And, if I can't be of any help, I can be there to hold his hand the whole time.
I decided it was not worth me getting myself all worked up over things that weren't likely to happen, and I figured it'd be more productive to just pray that the Lord would keep him safe while he's gone. I pulled up my morning devotional to read, and low and behold, it was about the exact same thing. Well, kind of the same thing. The writer was writing about the same feeling she was experiencing when her son decided to go to China on a mission trip. Now, if anyone had a good reason to worry, it's her. But she realized that the Lord was going to be right there with her son every single moment even though she couldn't be. And she realized that God's will for her son was more important than her will for his safety.
Aaron is 4 whole hours away from me. I could easily get to him if I needed to. Plus, he is coming home tomorrow. But I suppose I suffer a bit from separation anxiety when it comes to being away from the people I love. Because I just want to be there. If something comes up, I don't want them to be alone. I want to be able to provide comfort, support, entertainment, whatever it is they may need. I want to be able to keep my eyes on them to make sure everything is going well. But I realize that there are times in life when we have to be away from one another. And when those moments come, we have to trust that even though we can't go with them, the Lord will be there. Whether it be across the world, across the state, or just a few hours away, His eye is always on them. And whether they are gone for a day, a month, a year, or for what may seem like a lifetime, He's still with them. And so when you can't be there, it's really nice to know someone is there in your place. When you aren't able to be there, He is. Praise the Lord that we're never alone, and neither are the ones we love.
#557 - Because He goes with our loved ones when we can't.
"For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go." - Psalm 91:11
You all know how much of a worrier I am. I come by it honestly. Before Aaron and I got married, my parents would always ask me to let them know when I made it home after leaving their house in the evenings. We live 5 minutes apart, and if I didn't text them within 6 minutes, they'd send me a text to see if I was okay. This is how it goes in my family. We are the bunch who always say, "let me know when you get there," and we mean it. We like confirmation that everything is okay because if we aren't told that it is, we are only left to imagine the worst.
My parents went to Mexico about 6 years ago for summer vacation. We had always implemented the "call when you arrive" rule, and I made sure to make them promise they would let me know the moment they got there. I kept my phone close by all day and there was no call. By the end of the second day, I was freaking out. I was practically planning their funerals and coming to terms that I was now an orphan. I was so worried that I got everyone else up in arms and we finally called the resort to get in touch with them. They were alive, and they were fine. All that worrying for nothing.
And so I came home this morning to a super quiet house and as I stood alone in the bathroom getting ready, fear started to take over. What if the brakes went out on the bus that Aaron was on? What if they got in a wreck and it flipped? Who will he sit by? I hope there is someone there to keep him company so that he will have a fun time. Who will he talk to? Who will he hang out with in the evening? What if he decides to go hiking after all and gets hurt on the trail? What if some freak accident happens and I get a phone call in the middle of the night? What if he hits the jackpot at the casino and then gets held hostage for all that money? Oh my word, stop it! And I began to think about how devastated I would be if he didn't come home in one piece. How crushed I would be if something happened to him. Because although I'm not really his protector, I want to at least be there so we can go down together, you know. And, if I can't be of any help, I can be there to hold his hand the whole time.
I decided it was not worth me getting myself all worked up over things that weren't likely to happen, and I figured it'd be more productive to just pray that the Lord would keep him safe while he's gone. I pulled up my morning devotional to read, and low and behold, it was about the exact same thing. Well, kind of the same thing. The writer was writing about the same feeling she was experiencing when her son decided to go to China on a mission trip. Now, if anyone had a good reason to worry, it's her. But she realized that the Lord was going to be right there with her son every single moment even though she couldn't be. And she realized that God's will for her son was more important than her will for his safety.
Aaron is 4 whole hours away from me. I could easily get to him if I needed to. Plus, he is coming home tomorrow. But I suppose I suffer a bit from separation anxiety when it comes to being away from the people I love. Because I just want to be there. If something comes up, I don't want them to be alone. I want to be able to provide comfort, support, entertainment, whatever it is they may need. I want to be able to keep my eyes on them to make sure everything is going well. But I realize that there are times in life when we have to be away from one another. And when those moments come, we have to trust that even though we can't go with them, the Lord will be there. Whether it be across the world, across the state, or just a few hours away, His eye is always on them. And whether they are gone for a day, a month, a year, or for what may seem like a lifetime, He's still with them. And so when you can't be there, it's really nice to know someone is there in your place. When you aren't able to be there, He is. Praise the Lord that we're never alone, and neither are the ones we love.
#557 - Because He goes with our loved ones when we can't.
"For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go." - Psalm 91:11