Reason #628
We're winding down. Only one more session of Love & Respect and we're done. I have learned so much about myself, about marriage, about the roles in marriage, and about how men think, that I wish I would have watched this video when I was a teenager. Seriously, don't wait until you're married to do your research. Start now, you'll be glad you prepared yourself. Because even though you can figure everything out beforehand, it sure is nice if you have a little extra insight.
So tonight was, once again, a really convicting session. Because tonight the author basically took away our excuses. You see, as human beings in general, we're really bad about blaming one another. "I wouldn't have said that if you didn't make me so mad." "I would be nicer to you if you weren't so mean." And this goes way back to childhood. An eye for an eye. But that's old testament stuff, right? We're AD people and Jesus told us that if someone smacks us on the cheek, we turn the other cheek. That's so counterintuitive though. If you hurt me, the last thing I want to do is give you a free shot to hurt me again. No, I want to go BC on you and get even. Yet getting even gets us no where. By getting even, we both end up with bruises.
Marriage isn't exempt from this little lesson right here. Because our spouse acts and so we react. If they act loving, we react positively. If the act hateful, we react negatively. And we justify our behavior based on the way they have made us feel. It's their fault if we are rude, mean, unloving, unkind, disrespectful, negative, or whatever it is we're feeling. They "made" us act or think that way and so we don't feel the least bit bad about it. It's up to them if they want us to act differently. And so we place all the responsibility on their shoulders and we assume none of it ourselves.
But tonight our clever though process was completely smashed to pieces. Because the Lord doesn't play that game. If He did, we'd be up a creek. He calls us to a higher standard. A standard that the world does not comprehend or practice. And He holds us responsible for our behavior regardless of our spouse's behavior. Just because our spouse is unfaithful doesn't give us the right to not continue to be faithful. If our spouse is unloving, we are still commanded to love. If they refuse to forgive, we are called to forgive. We aren't called to match behaviors, we are called to obedience. God is holding us responsible for how we control ourselves individually. Aaron is responsible for Aaron, and I am responsible for me. And ultimately, even though I want to serve and love Aaron as best as I can, I'm really doing this for the Lord.
You see, there are days I don't want to take the high road. There are occasions where I want to play the eye for an eye game. But I try not to do these things because the Lord has asked more of me. And the truth is, He is watching me, too. He is taking note of whether or not I am obeying His commands, whether or not I am being the woman He has called me to be. And so even though I might feel a certain way, it does not excuse bad behavior. I might not feel like keeping a reign on my tongue, I might not feel like forgiving, I might not feel like submitting or serving, but that's what I have been called to do and that's what God is expecting of me.
One day I will stand before the Lord. I will look see Him face to face, and I want Him to be proud of me. I want Him to be proud of the woman I am, of the wife I have been. I want Him to be pleased with the job I have done. And until then, I want Him to be glorified and reflected in the way I choose to live my life. There's no easy way around it. After all, Jesus called it dying to self. It's a process, and a hard one at that. So even if it seems like our work on earth is vain, it's not. We have an eternal reward waiting for us. A reward so good that we can't even comprehend, and that right there makes all that hard work worth it!
#628 - Because He always takes the high road with us.
“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you." - Luke 6:27-31
So tonight was, once again, a really convicting session. Because tonight the author basically took away our excuses. You see, as human beings in general, we're really bad about blaming one another. "I wouldn't have said that if you didn't make me so mad." "I would be nicer to you if you weren't so mean." And this goes way back to childhood. An eye for an eye. But that's old testament stuff, right? We're AD people and Jesus told us that if someone smacks us on the cheek, we turn the other cheek. That's so counterintuitive though. If you hurt me, the last thing I want to do is give you a free shot to hurt me again. No, I want to go BC on you and get even. Yet getting even gets us no where. By getting even, we both end up with bruises.
Marriage isn't exempt from this little lesson right here. Because our spouse acts and so we react. If they act loving, we react positively. If the act hateful, we react negatively. And we justify our behavior based on the way they have made us feel. It's their fault if we are rude, mean, unloving, unkind, disrespectful, negative, or whatever it is we're feeling. They "made" us act or think that way and so we don't feel the least bit bad about it. It's up to them if they want us to act differently. And so we place all the responsibility on their shoulders and we assume none of it ourselves.
But tonight our clever though process was completely smashed to pieces. Because the Lord doesn't play that game. If He did, we'd be up a creek. He calls us to a higher standard. A standard that the world does not comprehend or practice. And He holds us responsible for our behavior regardless of our spouse's behavior. Just because our spouse is unfaithful doesn't give us the right to not continue to be faithful. If our spouse is unloving, we are still commanded to love. If they refuse to forgive, we are called to forgive. We aren't called to match behaviors, we are called to obedience. God is holding us responsible for how we control ourselves individually. Aaron is responsible for Aaron, and I am responsible for me. And ultimately, even though I want to serve and love Aaron as best as I can, I'm really doing this for the Lord.
You see, there are days I don't want to take the high road. There are occasions where I want to play the eye for an eye game. But I try not to do these things because the Lord has asked more of me. And the truth is, He is watching me, too. He is taking note of whether or not I am obeying His commands, whether or not I am being the woman He has called me to be. And so even though I might feel a certain way, it does not excuse bad behavior. I might not feel like keeping a reign on my tongue, I might not feel like forgiving, I might not feel like submitting or serving, but that's what I have been called to do and that's what God is expecting of me.
One day I will stand before the Lord. I will look see Him face to face, and I want Him to be proud of me. I want Him to be proud of the woman I am, of the wife I have been. I want Him to be pleased with the job I have done. And until then, I want Him to be glorified and reflected in the way I choose to live my life. There's no easy way around it. After all, Jesus called it dying to self. It's a process, and a hard one at that. So even if it seems like our work on earth is vain, it's not. We have an eternal reward waiting for us. A reward so good that we can't even comprehend, and that right there makes all that hard work worth it!
#628 - Because He always takes the high road with us.
“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you." - Luke 6:27-31